


It Shouldn't Be Like This

by BombasticLove



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-04-26 09:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 36,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14399529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BombasticLove/pseuds/BombasticLove
Summary: Therese is working in a small town cafe shop when she meets a bubbly young woman by the name of Rindy Aird. A relationship quickly develops between them and when Therese is brought in to a life of luxury by her new friend's family, she discovers she bit off much more than she could chew.This is set in the present day and explores a few uncomfortable and some familiar themes. It's a work in progress, so please let me know what you think.





	1. I Feel Fine

* * *

Chapter. 1 I Feel Fine

* * *

 

This is my first story, so I hope you guys like it. I'm in love with this pairing and this fandom, but I wanted to write a story a little different from the ones I've read. This will mostly be writen from Therese's POV. Thank you for reading, all mistakes are my own.

* * *

 

It had been a quiet night, the night of her 20th birthday. Therese had grown used to quiet nights and found a lot of comfort, pleasure even, in them. She had planned for herself a small party, just her and the tray of cupcakes she would be baking. _It’s all I really need_ , she thought, _after all every birthday is as important as you make it_ , and this didn’t feel like a particularly remarkable one.  
  
She was used to waking up early, having worked at the small coffee stand by the edge of the highway for several months now, waking up before dawn had become a constant in her life. She would rise, make herself a cup of tea, get dressed and ride her bicycle to work. She knew how much people in the neighborhood hated that bicycle, and her on it, as it emboldened her to act as both a pedestrian and car; riding on the sidewalk when she pleased and on the road when she pleased. But the early morning rides were calm and uninterrupted. Every day she would arrive at four thirty, she would let herself in, turn on the lights in the small cabin, put on some music, check all the machines… her routine was set. By five she was ready to greet her first round of costumers. Everyone pulled up to her window, sleepy eyes and groggy voices, and order whatever they needed from her. She enjoyed the interaction with many different faces, but also the privacy the small cabin afforded her when she was alone.  
  
This morning had started like any other, a line of costumers waiting for their morning jolt. Some polite, some not so much. At 8:30 the phone rang, surprisingly early for anyone to be calling her, but she picked up while in the middle of making several orders. “Yes?… Okay… _Yes, tall americano with soy, heard_ ….Okay, well I’m here until noon, so you tell me. _Here you go sir, have a nice day!_ …Okay…okay.. _Hey, how’s it going? Welcome! What would you like?_ Okay…okay, k… bye."  
  
When the first morning rush was over she finally let the news she received during her phone call sink in. New hire. First day. Must train. _Great_ , she thought, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she did. At exactly ten o clock she saw a black SUV pull into their small parking space and a small girl get out, blow the driver a kiss, and head towards the stand. Therese took a step towards the door and opened it with a heavy hand, letting it slam against the side of the small cabin. “You must be Rindy. Hi!” she said in the same obnoxiously chipper tone she gave all her costumers, especially the rude ones.  
  
“Yes, hi. I’m supposed to be starting today. Mena told me to come in and that you’d train me before my first official shift. Theresa, right?”  
  
“Therese, actually.”  
  
“Oh… I’ve never heard that name before. Does everyone always mess it up and call you Theresa?” the young girl said with a giggle.  
  
“No.” said Therese coldly as the both entered the small cabin and she closed the door behind them. “It’s Therese.” She was still smiling, and she could tell by the girl’s expression that she couldn’t quite reconcile the harsh tone and the smile coming from her.  
  
“Well,” said Therese “this..” she motioned around the small cabin with one hand, “is it.”  
  
Rindy giggled and looked down at the notebook she had in her hand and opened it.  
  
“What’s that for?”  
  
“To take notes…for…the training.”  
  
“Have you ever made coffee before?”  
  
“Yes! We have an espresso machine at home. Well, two actually, one we use and one my mom bought because apparently she likes to buy appliances for us to stare at. Not just appliances, too, whole sets of furniture and stuff, there’s actually a whole room in the house I’m not allowed to go into. Mom said that it’s because when I was little my hands where always sticky, but I’m not little anymore and she still tells me to stay out “just in case”” the girl made exaggerated air quotes and dropped her notebook on the ground as she did.  
  
“I don’t think you’ll need the notebook,” said Therese, a sincere smile now on her face, “if you know how to make coffee this shouldn’t be a hard job for you. The hardest part is learning to talk to the costumers, and remembering the orders of the ones that stop by every day. It’s really not very hard."  
  
Therese spend the next two hours asking Rindy questions about herself, happily listening to the girl answer in long run on sentences. She was seventeen, about to turn eighteen she said, a Cancer (whatever that means). She was an only child and she and her family had just come back from a six month trip to the east coast to see her grandmother, who was very sick. She hadn’t missed any school work, she assured her, which is why her parents let her get a summer job. This would be her first job ever and she was _so, so, oh my gosh, so, so excited_. In between cheerful one-sided chatter Therese taught Rindy where they kept certain ingredients and how to talk to the regulars through the small drive through window. She also showed her the bat she kept with her, just in case of stranglers. “Because you never know” said Therese.  
  
At 11:45 Therese heard the familiar sound of an unnecessarily loud engine. It was Alani, always punctual, what a treasure. Alani and Therese had worked together a long time, in fact it was Alani who got Therese this job when her work at the grocery store had started to bore her. She had always been a good friend, warm and very private, and Therese appreciated not having to have long winded discussions with her about their hopes and dreams and blah blah blah. They got each other, and that was that.  
  
“Alani is here, she’s my replacement, she starts at noon. This place really isn’t big enough for the three of us, so I think I’ll just go outside.”  
“Wait! Me too…” followed Rindy.  
  
Both girls met Alani outside and after a brief introductions she went inside the small cabin to get ready for work.  
  
“Since she’s here I guess I’m going to take off…” said Therese as she unlocked her bike from the bike rack.  
  
“Oh…okay” said Rindy nervously “my mom said she’d pick me up at noon. Is it okay if I wait for her out here?”  
  
“Yeah!” said Therese getting ready to leave when she caught the girls nervous expression. “You know what?” She added “let me just wait with you.”  
  
“Okay!”  
  
“So…” started Rindy again, “how old are you?”  
  
“Twenty.” said Therese, not wanting to tell her she had just turned twenty, not wanting to give her any insight into her private life at all.  
  
“Are you in school?”  
  
“Not right now?”  
  
“How come?”  
  
“Well, right now I’m standing here with you.”  
  
Rindy let out a small giggle and Therese caught herself staring at her small mouth. It seemed very delicate, like the mouth of a porcelain doll, but unlike a porcelain doll, this girl was alive and chatty. So chatty.  
  
“Mom doesn’t let me have a bicycle” she added randomly. “she says I’ll get into an accident or get melanoma or whatever. She has this thing with skin…” she said sighing lightheartedly. “oh mom!”  
  
“Doesn’t your mom get worried about you having a bicycle? Mine insists on driving me everywhere, she doesn’t even let me take the bus or the train or the…whatever else is public transportation. Oh my gosh, she doesn’t even let me call an Uber. One time, just to tease her, I tried, and when the guy pulled up to my house she had a fit. A full blown fit. It was so funny! I wasn’t gonna go anywhere, but you should have seen her face. It was red and my mom is, well, she’s…” the girl lowered her voice into a whisper “she’s like a ghost.”  
  
Therese grew more and more interested in this mysterious woman as Rindy continued to describe her. She sounded vain and possessive and she wondered how such a woman could have birthed such a sparkling fairy creature. She was happy she had stayed behind and anxiously awaited for the black SUV to pull up and reveal the woman, no, the Legend.  
  
Finally, it arrived. Therese saw Rindy bounce lightly beside her as she waited for the car to come to a complete stop. “Come!” she said taking hold of Therese’s hand and pulling her. “Come meet my mom!” Rindy ran up to the driver side window and lightly tapped her long nail on the window until the woman rolled it down. The curiosity on Therese’s face melted away as she saw the vision that revealed itself in front of her. The woman was pale, white as a ghost exactly as Rindy had described, but she had a glow about her that contrasted harshly against the black backdrop of the leather seats. Her nose was tall and strong, her lips impossibly full and wide, covering her face in what appeared to be a stern state of rest. Her hair was blonde like strands of gold and it was tucked behind her most peculiar ears. Therese looked attentively as she raised her dark glasses to reveal the softest pair of heavily hooded blue-grey eyes and she immediately thought of how much they reminded her of Rindy’s. _None of her features alone amounted to beauty but all together_ , Therese thought, _had produced something even the big bang in all it’s random, ife-creating glory could not aspire to._  
  
She was still staring at the woman when she heard Rindy’s alarmingly chipper voice say “Hi mom!” And saw her lean in for a  startling kiss. It was just a peck, quick, like lightening, but Therese couldn’t help but notice that it was right on the lips. Finally, finally, the woman turned to her as Rindy ran excitedly around the car and settled herself into the passenger seat. “Mom, this is Therese, we’re going to be working together, she trained me today!”  
  
The woman flashed Therese a warm smile and thanked Therese, or put a curse on Therese, she really couldn’t tell as she was transfixed at the startling resemblance of the two women who were now both staring at her. “Mom, I’ve got so much to tell you!” she heard Rindy say as they waved at her goodbye and pulled out of the small parking lot.


	2. Two of Us

* * *

 Chapter 2. Two of Us

* * *

 

The next day started out like any other. Therese woke up early, made a cup of tea, found her way to work, and was lost in thought when she heard an alarming banging at the door of the small cabin. She looked out the small window and saw the black SUV pull out of the parking lot and then leaned in further to see it was Rindy, bundled up in a large winter jacket, at the back door. Therese opened it and with a confused look on her face she asked “What are you doing here?”  
  
“What do you mean?” Said Rindy, still standing outside.  
  
“I mean what are you doing here?”  
  
“I…work here. I think.” Her face was looking curiously nervous and the scrunching of her nose revealed two small fangs under her lips. “It’s me, Rindy… from yesterday?”  
  
Therese shook her head and finally let her in realizing it was drizzling outside and the girl was getting wet.  
  
“Why are you wearing that huge jacket? And what are you doing here?”  
  
“I’m terrible with weather,” answered Rindy, starting to peel the layers off of herself, ignoring the second part of her question, “I never know how many layers I need, so I end up with lots and lots and then I get so hot and then I lose things and then I have nothing to wear.” She was finally all unbundled and standing with Therese in kaki shorts and an oversized cropped sweater.  
  
“Okay, but…what.are you. dooing. here?” Therese's tone appeared to get more and more irritated.  
  
“Okay, you’re starting to scare me. I work here! Remember me? I was here yesterday and you told me about the coffee and the syrup and the baseball bat? I’m working Thursdays in the morning, Friday in the morning, Saturday from noon to close, which suuuucks, and Monday noon to close as well. I think I’m with Alani on Saturday actually, she seemed nice. Is she nice?”  
  
“Oh,” said Therese to herself “I didn’t realize we were doubling up now. Make a mental note to call Mena…” she continued to herself.  
  
Therese and Rindy spent the first part of the morning trying to stay out of each other’s way, which was difficult in such a tiny cabin. Therese was unsure if Rindy noticed her frustration at having another person there, her routine broken, but with every every passing minute she found the girl less and less irritating. She still talked way to much for Therese’s liking, but she seemed to flutter around the small cabin, like a butterfly trapped in a cage. Her touch was delicate and her steps were light, and even with the costumers she had an air of sunshiny goodness that Therese couldn’t quite put her finger on.  
  
At half past nine they had their first morning lull. Everyone was already at work at this time and for the next hour all they’d really encounter would be stragglers. “STRANGLERS?!” Rindy shouted as she heard Therese describe the morning, “No..no. Stragglers.” she said with a laugh.  
  
There was only one small chair in the cabin and Therese let Rindy have it as much as possible, seeing the girls mounting exhaustion at having to be on her feet for so many hours. This was clearly her first job, but she didn’t appear spoiled like some of the girls she had known from school. She was charmingly down to earth and oblivious both at the same time. “I’m so hungrrryyy” so moaned at half past eleven. “I hope mom lets us pick up something to eat on our way home. She’s always going on about home cooked meals and organic this and, god help us all, kale this and that. You know they make kale chips now?” she said to Therese incredulously, who nodded in disgust. “I swear the more disgusting something is the more people want to claim is good for you. Mom says that when she was my age kale was used as a garnish, like parsley, but it doesn’t stop her from making me drink a green smoothie every morning before I leave the house.” Therese wondered if Rindy could see her interest whenever she shared stories that involved her mother. “…And don’t you think she just gives it to me, she watches me until I finish it. Ugh, moms, you know?”  
  
Therese nodded, she didn’t know.  
  
At noon, the SUV pulled up again, but this time Rindy and Therese were so busy cleaning up the espresso machine that they didn’t even notice. Then, a soft voice cooed at the from the window. “Are you ready to go, sweetheart?” _It was her again_ , Therese thought. _What was her name again?_ She was sure the woman had told her the day before, but she hadn’t been paying attention. “Hello again, Therese, how are you?” said the soft voice.  
  
“I’m well, Mrs…” _shit, what was their last name?_ “..ma’am.” she said awkwardly.  
  
“I’ll be out in a minute, mom! Do you want to wait in the car?”  
  
“That's okay, love, I like to see you work a little. How is she doing?” she turned to Therese, “Is she learning a lot?”  
  
“It’s really not a hard job,” answered Therese, “and she’s really good with the costumers, they already love her.” She flashed Rindy a sly smile and noticed the girl become instantly flushed as she received it. “So yeah, she’s doing real good.”  
  
“Okay! All done. Therese would you check this for me to make sure I’m not missing anything?”  
  
“Sure,” said Therese as she leaned in to check her work. She didn’t know why, but she could feel the woman’s eyes on her the entire time, burning her as she moved through the small space. “Looks perfect, good job.”  
  
“Okay, then I guess I’ll go. Mom…can we stop by to get a burger…there’s a Jack in the Box right up the street.” She heard Rindy say as she excited the small cabin and walked towards the car. She couldn’t hear her mother’s voice, but by the sudden slouch in Rindy’s shoulder and audible groan she could tell the answer was no.  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow” Therese mouthed to herself, finding herself excited to see Rindy the next day, knowing she might get another glimpse of her mysterious mother as well.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basing my descriptions of Rindy on this photo of Kirsten Dunst  
> https://venividibvitchy.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/cate-kirsten.jpg  
> I imagine if Cate had a daughter she would look a little something like that. Plus, I think fangs are cute.


	3. I Me Mine

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Chapter 3. I Me Mine

* * *

 

Therese and Rindy had settled into a comfortable work time groove on the two days they were together and Therese found herself looking forward to when she would see her again. Rindy had somehow become even less inhibited and stared flashing more signs of her personality, particularly her inherent need for physical contact. It had first taken Therese by surprise when she would suddenly walk up behind her while she was sitting and without asking start braiding her hair, or lean in close to touch her earrings or take off her glasses (which she only wore sometimes) to try them on herself. She never considered herself a touchy-feely kind of person and absolutely hated when a costumer’s hand would linger a little too long on her’s as she was handing them their coffee, but with Rindy it didn’t feel as awkward, and she often wondered why. The girl was sweet, there was no doubt about it, and she never felt a gesture to be forced or insincere, so instead of resisting she often just gave in.  
  
“Hey, what are you doing Saturday afternoon?”  
  
“I don’t know, why?” she knew exactly what she was doing because it was the same thing she did almost every other night. She would be staying home with a book, or pop into the local animal shelter and volunteer for them.  
  
“Well, it’s my mom’s birthday and we’re gonna have a tiny party for her, but then her and Dad are gonna go out to dinner and I’ll be home alone. I was hoping maybe you wanted to watch a movie or something. You could even spend the night if you want. We have a guest bedroom, or you can stay in mine, or” she laughed at the thought of what she’d say next “maybe mom will let you stay in that room I’m not allowed into.”  
  
Therese laughed at the notion and felt very intrigued to find out more about this girl, her mysterious mother, and finally put a face on the father who she had only heard pleasant stories about. “Wait…don’t you work on Saturday?”  
  
“Yeah, but I switched with somebody because…” she sighed heavily, “long story short I have to work all day Monday. So what, you wanna come over?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
When they said goodbye Therese felt a flutter in her stomach at the thought of spending a little time with this family. More than anything else she was excited to spend a little time with _a_ family. A mom, a dad, their daughter and her.  
  
When she reached her small apartment she saw the landlord tending to his garden. “Hey, Mike!” she said as she passed him by and patted him on the back. He was a really nice guy, always asking about her day and helping her with her bike when a tire was flat or she needed other small repairs.  
  
“Big plans tonight?” he shouted as he watched her run up the stairs. “Always!” She shouted back getting into her apartment and shutting the door behind her.  
  
_Sigh._  
  
Her apartment was small, tiny even, but she loved it. She had a big bed that was directly on the floor and an oversized comforter that overflowed from it like a succulent plant. A few small tables, a small sofa, and a tiny kitchen. Everything in her house was small, like herself, and she often felt like Alice in Wonderland twirling around it, moving from “room to room” with a single step. The apartment was also full of plants and flowers from Mike’s garden because he knew how much she loved them and because, he confessed to Therese one day, he worried she never had another living soul in there with her, so the plants would keep her company.

  
Therese loved being here, being home. For the first time in her life she had a space that was just her own, and she relished in the solitude.


	4. Birthday

* * *

Chapter 4. Birthday

* * *

 

Saturday morning was spent volunteering at the Humane Society. She did everything from clean cages, to give dog baths, to taking them for a walk. It was a quarter after twelve when they brought her Sugar, a large pit bull mix with shiny grey fur, her eyes were the palest of blues and her disposition was as sweet as her name suggested. It was her turn to take Sugar for a walk and she was not shy to admit she had been looking forward to it all week. They took a leisurely stroll through the streets of downtown and Therese tied Sugar outside as she went into a small ice cream shop to buy herself a snack. She had only had a light breakfast and knew she shouldn’t be eating ice cream this early, but it was a beautiful day in June and it hadn’t rained in a week and she felt all of this, plus the fact that it was her turn to walk Sugar, was reason enough to celebrate.  
  
She ordered her ice cream, two scoops of vanilla in a waffle cone, _plain like herself, but delicious_ , she thought. As she sat on a bench outside the shop she remembered one of Rindy’s stories and imagined her having to drink that awful green juice she described as her mother’s eyes patrolled her. Her guilt quickly disappeared as she refocused on her cone.  
  
“You’re a mighty pretty girl” she heard a soft voice say and she sat up on her seat as she watched a blonde woman leaning over petting her dog. It was her. Rindy’s mom. _Shit, what is her name?_  
  
The blonde looked up at her and flashed her a warm smile, recognizing her instantly. Therese shot up from her seat and nearly dropped her ice cream as she tried to steady herself to give the woman a proper greeting. “Hello, how are you?” she said, reaching over with her left hand, which was holding Sugar’s leash, to shake the woman’s hand.  
  
“I’m well, Therese, how are you?”  
  
“Well as well” she said, immediately regretting her decision to speak. She was feeling inexplicably flustered and wondered if it was from the sudden jump or the cold ice cream or a combination of the two. The woman chuckled at her answer and leaned back down to pet the dog.  
  
“She’s beautiful, what’s her name?”  
  
“Sugar!” answered Therese unintentionally shouting a little.  
  
“Oh, she certainly is a sweetie, isn’t she? Is she a pit bull? How long have you had her?”  
  
“Oh no, she’s not mine.” Therese replied, feeling her ice cream start to melt on her hand. “I volunteer down at the Humane Society and Sugar is one of their rescue pups. She’s a mutt, actually, but I don’t know what she’s crossed with, definitely pit bull though. I think…” she continued mindlessly “I think she’s probably two or three, still a baby really, they rescued her from somebody that had neglected her real bad. Her tail is clipped, you see? Poor baby. She’s such a sweetie too.”  
  
“She is a sweetie, hopefully somebody adopts her soon.”  
  
“I hope so…but I don’t know” her ice cream was creating a small puddle on the ground now “these little guys have a hard time getting picked up. People think they’re scary… I guess because of the way they look, but they’re actually the sweetest thing once you get to know them.” Her hand was now a sticky mess “Those people are stupid though, and Sugar deserves somebody better than a stupid owner.”  
  
“Yes, she does.” said the woman. “Looks can definitely be deceiving. Those soft eyes,” she continued, “some might call them icy, I think they look like the dawn.”  
  
Therese didn’t know why, but she could tell the woman had stopped talking about the dog somewhere along the way. “Oh hey!” She said, probably interrupting her thoughts. “Happy birthday.”  
  
The woman let out a small laugh and thanked her. “Rindy says you’re coming over today, possibly spending the night?”  
  
“Maybe, we’ll see… about spending the night I mean, but I definitely am coming over. Hey…aren’t you supposed to be having a party right now.”  
  
“Does it still count as a party if it’s only two other people and yourself?”  
  
“I guess it does if you like the people.”  
  
“Then yes, I should be at my party right now.” Therese’s ice cream was almost completely gone, but she hesitated moving towards the garbage can in fear of spooking the creature before her. She wasn’t sure why, but she sensed she was easily spooked.  
  
“I should get going…oh no!” she said alarmingly, “I’ve made you waste your ice cream with my incessant chatter. Let me make it up to you, let me buy you another one.”  
  
“Oh no, you really don’t have to do that! I shouldn’t have even bought this one in the first place, it’s too early for ice cream…I should have lunch first.” Therese shifted uncomfortably as she was hoping the last part of her statement didn’t somehow sound like she wanted the woman to buy her lunch instead.  
  
“Very well,” said the woman, her eye brow slightly arched, “I’ll make it up to you tonight.”  
  
“Hmm?” Therese felt herself say as she watched the woman slowly walk away and as she got close to turning the corner she turned around and with a small wave said “Bye Sugar…bye puppy.” And with a wink she was gone.


	5. Baby, You're A Rich Man

* * *

Chapter 5. Baby, You're A Rich Man

* * *

 

As she got ready to leave Therese looked over her small closet and for the first time, maybe ever, she didn’t know what to wear. This had never been an issue for her. She didn’t grow up with much, and as she grew older and earned her own money she realized she didn’t need much. Her wardrobe consisted of a few tops, a few pairs of pants, and a small collection of summer dresses she never seemed to wear. High waisted jeans and a loose fitting button up, she decided. She had started to look like the picture in a frame, always the same.  
  
She wasn’t sure what exactly about her clothes was suddenly bothering her. She had known Rindy only a little while, but she had not seen her wear the same thing twice. Every day she left a piece of clothing behind at work, and every day Therese noticed the label advertising a designer name. And her mother, that was another story. Impossibly put together every time she saw her pick Rindy up from work.  
  
She packed a small backpack with her pajama, toiletries, and a change of clothes, and left with plenty of time to make it to Rindy’s house. Traveling on a bike was fun when she had nowhere to go, but Rindy’s house was over ten miles away and she knew it would take her a long time to get there, so she might as well enjoy the long journey. She put on her music and shuffle and was careful only to leave one earbud in on her long journey to her new friend’s house.  
  
When she finally made it it was almost four o clock, and although she was feeling winded, pulling up to the magnificent house was what actually took her breath away. She had seen houses like it before, in fact, she had cleaned houses like this before when she first started working and couldn’t get any other jobs. It was a new house on a big lot of land and she could see that just behind the house was a giant trampoline and, at a distance, stables. It was beautiful and intimidating and she felt very uncomfortable and curious, all at the the same time. When she rang the doorbell she felt as if she was hearing church bells ring, it was so loud. A large handsome man opened the door and with a warm smile said, “Hello, how can I help you?”  
  
Before Therese could answer she saw Rindy running behind the man, pushing past him, and taking her into a startling embrace. “Daddy this is my new friend Therese from work, I told you about her remember? I told her she was coming over tonight while you and Mom went out to dinner. I asked her, too” she said as she saw the man begin to speak “so don’t say I didn’t run it past you causes you always say “ask your mom” and I did and she said yes and then I asked you too and you said yes.”  
  
The man let out a laugh and put his hands on the girls shoulder “I know, sweetheart, I remember. Come on in, Therese, make yourself at home.”  
  
Therese walked into the large house and felt it somehow looked even bigger from the inside. It was an open layout and she could see the kitchen from the entryway and a big flight of stairs that led to a second and third floor. It was beautiful and for the first time in a very long time she felt a hint of jealousy.  
  
“Come on!” Rindy said, taking her hand “You can come see my room!” As the girls walked up the stairs to the second floor she saw a woman in a pale pink bathrobe leaning in from above, watching them. “Hi Therese...” she said.  
  
“Hi....” said Therese breathlessly as she saw the woman disappear. Walking into Rindy’s bedroom was like walking into two, no three, of her apartments. It felt like a suite more than a bedroom complete with a small living room set and a large TV. Rindy motioned for her to sit wherever she wanted and asked what she wanted to listen to on the portable speaker. “You choose..” said Therese, studying the room.  
  
She settled herself on a spot on the floor where she saw an old photo album. After a little while Rindy sat next to her and told her story after story behind each picture, the ones she remembered and the ones she had been told. They both looked up startled when they saw the woman standing in the doorway wearing a fitted white dress with a v cut neckline that seemed to go down to the naval.  
  
“Mom.... _what_ are you wearing?”  
  
“It’s my birthday, child, you don’t get to judge me on my birthday.” Therese had thought she was beautiful every other time she saw her, but something about tonight made her look particularly stunning. Her hair was slicked back and her goofy ears were peeking out bringing that strange perfection to her face that Therese had become obsessed with. She looked strong and sexy and she imagined this is what she must dress like for her husband all the time and found herself feeling that same feeling once more, that little bit of jealousy.  
  
“Carol, are you ready?” she heard the man say, and without realizing she herself breathed out: “Carol...”  
  
“Yes?” said Carol, facing her and ignoring her husband.  
  
“Oh nothing... sorry.”  
  
“I was wondering how long it would take you to ask... well, I guess Harge went and gave it away. No fun.” She  scrunched up her nose in a way Therese had seen Rindy do a hundred times before and gave Therese a small wink when she saw that Rindy wasn’t paying attention and Therese felt flushed at the thought of Carol knowing all along she couldn’t remember her name. The girl shot up and went to say goodbye to her mother giving her another quick peck on the lips before promising she would get to bed early. “Good night, girls” said Carol in her soft voice as she left.  
  
“Hey Rindy...” asked Therese after she knew her parents had left. “How old is your mom?”  
  
“33 today.”  
  
“ _Thirty three?_ ” She said in disbelief. It’s not that she’d imagined the woman to be older, but Rindy was nearly eighteen and thirty three was really young to have an eighteen year old daughter.  
  
“Yeah!”  said the girl and Therese sensed this was the beginning of yet another story “My parents got married really young. Like... really, really young. Dad says that he fell in love with her the moment he first saw her. He says I look a lot like her... but I don’t see it. Just the hair and the eyes, but I mostly look like my dad’s side of the family....”  
  
Therese felt Rindy trail off and tried to redirect the conversation back to Carol and Harge, “How long have your parents been married?”  
  
“A long time. My mom got pregnant with me and she says they had to get married because it was the right thing to do, but Dad is a romantic and he says it was fate.... Do you believe in fate?” the girl asked softly.  
  
“No” said Therese dryly and suddenly she noticed it... the small bit of Carol’s lipstick on Rindy’s lower lip. It must have transferred when she kissed her goodbye. Rindy went on about a few other things but Therese was hypnotized by the stain on her lip, unable to look away. She didn’t notice as the girl moved closer to her, or when she stopped talking completely, or when she leaned in carefully and, closing her eyes, planted a small kiss on Therese’s lips.  
  
Therese felt as if she had been shaken awake by an earthquake and as her eyes came out of their haze she saw Rindy looking at her, a tender look of want in her eyes. She leaned in again to kiss her and without thinking Therese opened her mouth and went in, slowly devouring the girls mouth, sucking and biting on her lower lip until she was sure that every bit of Carol’s lipstick was now inside of her, swallowed whole. She felt Rindy moan into her mouth and forcefully pulled away, startling them both.  
  
“What’s wrong?” asked Rindy quietly. “Did I do that wrong?”  
  
“No that was... you are...No, I’m sorry it’s not you” she said as she pulled herself further away from Rindy and eventually got up and took a few steps that led her into a small circle.  
  
“Rindy... I’m sorry... I didn’t know.... I don’t want to give you the wrong impression...”  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” said Rindy, visibly embarrassed.  
  
“It’s not you... you’re... you’re wonderful, it’s me, I just wasn’t expecting....”  
  
“Is it because I’m a girl?”  
  
“No...” said Therese, “It’s not that, I like ...it’s not that.” Therese felt her teeth biting down on her lip frantically and started moving towards the door. “I should go.”  
  
“No! Don’t...you don’t have to go. You live far away, and I just... I misread the signs. It won’t happen again, I promise.” she said, an air of sincerity in her voice.  
  
_What sings_ , Therese thought to herself. She would try her best to make the rest of the evening go smoothly as to not embarrass Rindy further.  
  
After about an hour of listening to music and not talking they decided to go downstairs and look for dinner. The refrigerator was full of everything they could possible need, but nothing in it was actually cooked. Therese felt a good way to break some of the tension would be to engage in some sort of distracting activity and told Rindy she would be making them dinner. Rindy walked over with half a dozen of her mother's cook books and tried to help Therese pick a recipe, but Therese told her she would be making food she knew. Therese told Rindy she had been cooking for a long time, she had to learn when she was very young and she often had to cook for a lot of people. Rindy sat back and helped her with the clean up along the way, but not with any of the actual cooking, although she was still wearing an apron that made her look adorably domestic. When dinner was nearly done, they heard the front door swing open and saw Harge walk in, cell phone to his ear, and make his way upstairs. Carol strolled in behind him, clutch in hand, taking long and lazy steps into the house.  
  
“Mom, what’s going on? Why are you home so early?”  
  
“Oh you know, your dad got a phone call.”  
  
“Ugggghhhh...” Rindy groaned as she walked over to give Carol a hug. “I’m sorry mom”  
  
“It’s fine, kiddo. You know how it is.”  
  
“Hey... Therese and I are about to have dinner. She made roast chicken and potatoes and it smells really good.”  
  
“Is that so?” Said Carol arching a brow? “Therese, you can cook?” She said surprised, as if she knew anything about her at all. Therese nodded.  
  
“Dinner is almost ready Mrs. Aird, if you and Mr. Aird would like to join us.”  
  
“Harge will be a while... but it does smell good, maybe I will join you for s bite.” All three walked back to the kitchen and Therese saw the two blondes sit at the kitchen island and watch her take the food out of the oven and then serve it into three large plates. _This looks about right_ , she thought to herself, _serving the rich folks_. The women sat together for a while, enjoying dinner and laughing, but as it got later she started to worry about where she would sleep. She didn’t want to bring it up, but she so desperately wanted somebody, anybody, to offer her the guest bedroom. After what had happened earlier she didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in Rindy’s bed with her, but she didn’t want to ask for anything since she was their guest.  
  
They all walked upstairs in silence and Therese felt someone tap her in the shoulder. “Follow me,” said Carol, “let me show you to your room...” Rindy quietly slipped into her own as they walked along the side of the staircase and ended up in the room at the far left. “This is your room” she pointed at the door, Rindy’s is over there, and this here is my husbands office. Your bathroom is going to be upstairs, second door to the left from the stairs.”  
  
 “Thank you, Mrs. Aird.”  
  
“Call me Carol, please, Mrs. Aird makes me feel so old. I know it’s my birthday, but I really don’t want to feel old.”  
  
“You’re not old, you’re really young, I can’t believe how young you are for having a daughter that’s almost eighteen.”  
  
“How old do I look?” Carol said teasingly.  
  
“ I don’t know, young.”  
  
“How old are you, Therese?”  
  
“Twenty.”  
  
“Ummmm” Carol purred, nodding her head. “Still a girl. My Rindy was five when I was your age...” she said as if forgetting she wasn’t alone. “Anyway, I’m going to sleep. Have a good night, Therese, thank you for dinner.”

___________________________________  
  
Sleep was not coming easily and Therese felt herself get over heated in the fancy guest room. She cracked a window and then closed it back up, thinking someone could break in and kill them all and she would be to blame for opening the window. She laid on top of the covers for a little while before deciding to go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on her face. She made her way up the stairs quietly, trying not to accidentally wake anybody up. As she reached the bathroom she hear a muffled voice, it was Mr. Aird.  
  
“Come on Carol.... I have a flight in the morning.... two weeks.... come on... it’s your birthday...” Therese walked closer towards the partially opened door getting just close enough so that her shadow would not be visible through the crack. Everything was quiet for a little while, but still, she stayed there.  
  
“Unghhhh... unghhhh..” it was Mr Aird, he was grunting and groaning and his breathing was becoming strained. There was no doubt in her mind, they were having sex. _But why was she so quiet?_ Therese wondered. _Is she just a quiet lover?_ “Unggghh... fuuuuck... Carol” Therese was frozen, as if glued to the ground, listening to them, to him, pound into her. She felt a pounding in her own chest and an unexpected pulsing between her legs. _She isn’t saying anything_. “ahhh fuck, come for me baby...” She knew he was nearly done and she couldn’t stay standing there much longer, but she didn’t know what to do. If she went to the bathroom she was sure they would hear her, if she went downstairs and someone came out of their room, she would surely get caught sneaking. _She didn’t mean to sneak_ , she said to herself as she decided towards the stairs. She moved quickly and less quietly than before shutting the door behind her a little too loud when she reached the guest bedroom.  
  
She laid there in bed awake for a while asking herself over and over again, _why was she so quiet? Why was she so quiet?_ Her hands started the move lower on her abdomen, _Why was she so quiet?_ Lower and lower they went.


	6. Act Naturally

* * *

 Chapter 6. Act Naturally

* * *

 

It was Sunday morning, but almost by design, she found herself wide awake long before five on lock. She wondered what she should do, being in this strange house. She wanted to get up and make herself a cup of tea and get in the shower to remove some of the unpleasant stickiness on her brow from the sweat and between her legs from her other activities. She considered her options and landed on a shower. She collected her small backpack and made her way upstairs. The house was quiet, but she could hear a faint noise outside. Maybe it was the horses, she thought to herself. She took a long look in the mirror before starting to remove her clothing. Her shorts were cut out from an old pair of pajama pants that had ripped at the knee. Her shirt was so worn out you could hardly even see the blue letters that were printed on it. She slipped out of everything and went into the large bath. Her apartment only had a small shower and she had always told herself it was just fine, she was a small girl, but being in here felt like a luxury to her she never wanted to be deprived of. The shower head was large and the water pressure hot and steady. She decided she would stay there forever, if she could.  
  
Therese found her way down both flights of stairs and made her way to the large kitchen. She desperately wanted a cup of tea to help her wake up, but she had no idea where anything was kept. She slowly opened door after door, drawer after drawer in search for a tea bag, no such luck. She was ready to give up and go back to bed when she heard a husky voice from the living room say: “Can I help you find anything?”  
  
Therese jumped at the startling sound. It was Carol in the same pink pale night gown as the day before. “I’m just looking for a tea bag, Mrs. Aird. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here.” Therese watched as the woman got up and walked towards her, enthralled by the movement of her wide hips. “We don’t have any tea bags, dear” she said as she moved past her and pointed to a large display of glass jars sitting against the marble backsplash. “We have loose tea leaves, help yourself.”  
  
Therese felt she must have looked really dumb for not noticing the beautiful collection of tea they had, but told herself it was early still and she was in a strange place. When she walked over to where Carol was standing, she leaned in to read the label on each jar. They had been made by hand, Therese thought, and the print was soft and round. When she was done reading, she made her selection. She went in to pick up the jar when she felt a strong hand stop her firmly. “Don’t do that, you might break it... Here, let me.” Carol said.  
  
She was immediately taken back to her first day meeting Rindy, hearing stories about her impossible mother. She looked around the kitchen for a minute before finding the espresso machine she knew nobody was allowed to touch and chuckled lightly to herself. “Is something funny?” said Carol in that husky tone.  
  
“No...” said Therese embarrassed. Carol was now well into the process of making tea, she was heating up water in a large automatic tea kettle and had retrieved a small porcelain tea pot and two small tea cups from a cupboard somewhere. Therese slowly made her way towards the side of the island to watch Carol work. She was a lot like Rindy, light in her step and touch, but she didn’t remind her of a butterfly at all. She reminded her of a cat, long and stealth and not afraid of anything. Therese could see she wasn’t wearing anything underneath her robe, which wasn’t sheer, but it was thin enough to hang over her body loosely and sink into the small dimple of her lower back, right where her buttocks started. She had a vision of Harge holding on to her the night before, pounding into her with force, and the disgusting feeling shook her out of her day dream.  
  
“No coffee for you?” said Carol as she watched the tea steep in the small pot. “I would have guessed that working at a coffee shop...”  
  
“No, I don’t drink coffee.” said Therese cutting her off.  
  
“I see... well, good for you, coffee is a bad habit unless you drink it black, which is how I like mine.”  
  
“I don’t like the way it makes me feel,” confessed Therese, “I’m all jittery if I even take a sip.” She watched the tea steep for a few seconds and then asked “What are you doing up so early Mrs. Aird, it’s not even six yet.”  
  
“I told you to stop calling me that,” said Carol playfully “It’s Carol or nothing at all!” this time in a mockingly stern tone.  
  
“Okay... Carol.”  
  
“Harge had to go out of town on business this morning, he just left actually. That’s what the phone call last night was all about. I was helping him pack and seeing him out.”  
  
“Will he be gone for long?”  
  
“A couple of weeks, he said.”  
  
“I’m sorry...”  
  
“Don’t be. This happens all the time, I’m used to it. Rindy, however.... she still misses him every time he’s gone. Although, he’s taken her with him once or twice, which has been sweet of him. Last time he went to Paris for the weekend he took her, she came back with the silliest French accent,” Carol was beaming as she talked to Therese about Rindy, “she was slurring her words a little, it almost sounded like she was drunk, and she would exaggerate the “sss” into “zzzz”. It went on for days after...”  
  
“She’s sweet” smiled Therese, “I can totally see her doing that.”  
  
“She’s a sweet girl,” Carol said, her tone suddenly dry and serious, “she deserves only good things. Good...friends, too.”  
  
Therese nodded.  
  
“She talks about you a lot, you know. Every time I pick her up she has some new story to tell me about you.“  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Umhmm” Carol purred as she took the tea pot and poured two cups. She handed one to Therese and picked the other one up, leaving her coffee mug behind, and found a seat next to Therese on the island. “Mmmmmm” She cooed as she took the first sip of steaming hot tea.  
  
“She talks about you a lot too..” said Therese, regretting it instantly.  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“Uh huh,” she said shyly and took a sip of tea so as to give herself some tome to think of what to say next. The sip was larger than she had expected and she burned her tongue and messily set her cup down as she spit out a little and then quickly tried to wipe her face. “Ouch... fuck!”  
  
Carol let out a soft laugh as she watched Therese struggle. There were drops of tea all over her chin and a small puddle on the counter top. She was sticking her tongue out lightly and panting from the surprise when she felt Carol’s thumb on her chin softly wiping away the drops of tea that had lingered. She felt her body stiffen at the sensation of this woman’s hand on her again, this time not a reprimanding touch, but a gentle one. She stayed still as Carol finished with her small task and watched her as she brought her thumb up to her mouth and licked it.  
  
“There,” she said, her thumb wet from her saliva, “now we just have to clean the counter top. Let it cool a little before you sip it..”  
  
She brought back a with her a small white towel and and a box of dark chocolate. She opened it up and offered Therese a bite, “No, thank you...”  
  
“Suit yourself,” she said, taking a small bite of chocolate and then a sip of tea. Therese felt herself staring at her lips as she chewed and got lost in the soft moans of pleasure she let out at the combinations of flavors in her mouth. _If tea makes her sound like this_ , she thought, _surely her husband could too._ “Are you sure you don’t want a bite?” Her trance was momentarily broken, this time she nodded, “Alright, maybe just a bite.” Carol held up the small piece of chocolate to Therese’s mouth and instructed her to take a small bite and a small sip of tea and just hold it in her mouth for a little while before swallowing. “Mmmm” said Therese softly as she followed the instructions, and as she swallowed she let out her own soft moan which was softly matched by Carol. The sound of hearing Carol moan alongside her sent sparks along her spine that exploded into magnificent fireworks in her mind. Everything was foggy as she repeated the sound of their soft moans in her head over and over and over again. What she wouldn’t do to hear Carol moan for her like that again, this time at feeling her hands on her, her tongue on her.  
  
“I hope we didn’t interrupt anything by getting home so early.” Carol started again.  
  
Therese wasn’t sure what she was hinting at, but she knew the comment was not benign. “No, we had been listening to music and then we made dinner. I think Rindy wanted to watch a movie, but then we all started eating and it got late, so…”  
  
“Harge doesn’t like it when she has her friends sleep over, and he especially doesn’t like it when they share her room…” she continued. _Odd_. “But he’ll be gone for a couple of weeks and you’re welcomed to come over again if you like, to visit Rindy.”  
  
“Oh…well, of course, I mean if she’ll invite me again…”  
  
“Oh, I’m sure she will.” At this Therese saw Carol set down her cup of tea and start to walk towards the stair case and then disappear from view.  
  
____________  
  
It was close to ten o clock when Rindy finally came out of her room. She was freshly showered and her thin blonde hair was slightly matted from the terrycloth towel. Therese noticed she was wearing riding boots, a whole ensemble actually. “Are you going riding?” asked Therese, as if it wasn’t obvious from her clothes.  
  
“Uh huh… but first I’m going to clean the stables. Do you want to join me for a little bit or do you have to go?”  
  
“No, I can help.”  
  
They walked out of the house and made their way to the stables to find five beautiful horses. Therese noticed Rindy’s sweet expression become even lighter as she reached for each horse to pet it, give it a small greeting, and move on until she was in front of her own.  
  
“This is Lady Mary” she said, “and yes I named her after the girl from Downton Abby” The notion made Therese smile.  
  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone prettier than Lady Mary…” she went on as she let herself into her small confines. “Come, say hello!” she said while simultaneously handing Therese a brush. Therese had never been this close to a horse before, but that was not something she was willing to admit to Rindy. Sure, she had seen them whenever she had been in the more rural parts of town, but they were so far it was a very rare occurrence. She could see how someone could fall in love with this, though, such a gentle yet powerful animal. She looked up to to see Rindy carefully braiding Lady Mary’s mane and quietly she said, “So this is why you’re always running your hands through my hair at work, do I remind you of Lady Mary or something?”  
  
“No,” replied Rindy without looking away, “I just like to touch you, that’s all.”  
  
Therese felt an uncomfortable shift in her energy as she had not expected Rindy to be so bold. She watched the girl as she continued to braid, biting down at her lower lip to reveal her delicate little fangs and for a second she wondered what it would be like to feel those on her neck.  
  
“Do your parent’s know?”  
  
“My mom does,” she said, not needing Therese to explain what she meant. “We talked about it a long time ago, she’s cool.”  
  
“So, she doesn’t mind?”  
  
“No, she doesn’t mind. She tells me I’m still too young to really do anything…but I don’t know, when I think of her and dad and how young they were when they had me, it doesn’t really seem fair, you know?”  
  
“Have you…ever..?”  
  
“No. And you?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“What’s it like?”  
  
“It’s….okay.” said Therese. The memories of her first boyfriend came trickling back and she felt a sudden nausea in her stomach. “He was…sweet, I guess, he seemed to enjoy it.”  
  
“He…?”  
  
“Yeah, his name was Richard and we used to go to school together. He asked me out and it felt easy to say yes. I stayed at his paren’t house a lot when mine…well, we just spent a lot of time together and things just sort of happened.”  
  
“So…you don’t…I thought maybe…”  
  
“No, I do…but I didn’t realize that until later.”  
  
“Do your parents know?”  
  
“No.” Therese scoffed, “my parents don’t know anything.”  
  
Therese saw Rindy stop what she was doing and slowly move towards her in the stall. Her eyes looked determined, like a silent thunderstorm approaching the shore, and she felt herself move towards her as they met in a hungry kiss. Therese didn’t know how, or why, but she wasn’t fighting it. She wrapped her arms around the girl’s slender waist and pulled her in closer as if to deepen the kiss. They stood there hungrily gnawing at each other’s mouths when they heard someone clear their throat.  
  
“Mom!” exclaimed Rindy, pulling herself away from Therese.    
  
Carol didn’t look at her, her eyes were fixed on Therese. She felt the woman watching her carefully as Rindy walked further away from her and then out of the stable completely, running the rest of the way to the house.  
  
“I made breakfast,” she said, her eyes deep and stormy. “Come.”  
  
_Where have I seen those eyes before? Ah, yes… Rindy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments already! I love to hear from you!


	7. Mean Mr. Mustard

* * *

Chapter 7. Mean Mr. Mustard

* * *

 

On her long ride home Therese replayed back the events of the past two days. The enormous feel of the house and the suffocating warmth she felt inside of it. The man with the kind face and the girl who had taken her completely by surprise. More than anything, though, her mind kept coming back to her. On the stairs in her pale pink robe. Leaning on the door way with her arms tucked under her breasts, taunting her. In the stable with her piercing stare. And then her silence. Her deafening silence in her bedroom. Their bedroom.  
  
It would be close to a week before she saw Rindy at work again, she had plenty of time to figure out what to do, but being the avoider that she was she let herself forget to think about it. _She’s a very responsible person_ , she reasoned with herself, _avoiding reality every once in a while was not the worst thing._  
  
It took a day before Rindy invited her back to her house, and a week for her to accept. There was no awkwardness in their encounters as Therese had anticipated, and she felt more and more relaxed in the girl’s presence. She felt it brought out a certain lightheartedness in her. She was more ready to laugh, more ready to share the silly parts of her day and life with her. She didn’t mind her long stories and took pleasure in watching the little butterfly move around their tiny cabin. Every once in a while, when there were no customers and Therese would sit down, Rindy would walk in front of her and gently straddle her as she leaned in for a quick kiss or two. Never in any hurry, never with an agenda. The girl’s sweetness poured out of her and she took it in like honey.  
  
At noon Carol’s car pulled into the parking lot and both girls were already outside waiting for her. Rindy was sitting on Therese’s bike and Therese had leaned into the small window as she chatted with Alani. “Mom’s here!” said Rindy cheerfully as she tugged on Therese’s shirt. “Let’s go!”  
  
“Thanks again, A!” said Therese as she left, and climbed into the back seat of the car directly behind Carol.  
  
“I don’t have a bicycle rack on this car, Rindy…”  
  
“Oh, don’t worry Mrs… I mean Carol. Alani is taking it home with her today, and she’s picking me up tomorrow, so you don’t have to drive me home or anything.”  
  
“Very well.”  
  
The three drove off and Therese watched Carol and Rindy as they conversed about the girl’s day. Every once in a while, at a stop light or when Rindy would mention her name, Therese saw Carol’s  head shift and, although she was wearing dark glasses, she knew she was looking at her through the rear view mirror. Therese held her gaze defiantly.  
  
When they arrived at the house Therese saw a beautiful lunch spread in the living room coffee table for them. Rindy quickly made her way to the food and picked up a carrot stick, taking a bite. She offered one to Therese who took it gladly.  
  
“Did you do all this?” Therese asked Carol.  
  
She nodded. “I wanted you girls to have something nice to eat after a long morning at work. Waking up that early can’t be easy… _is not easy_ ,” she said and yawned a little. It hadn’t occurred to Therese that in the weeks that Rindy had been working with her Carol always picked her up and dropped her off. She had to be there at six and it took at least a half an hour from their house. _She’s nice_ , she thought, _or possessive. One of the two._ The girls ate lunch together, chatting and laughing in between bites of food and Rindy’s silly references. She could quote a thousand shows on command and she found herself to be hilarious, even if no one else understood the joke. Carol sat at a distance from them on her computer, but Therese noticed how she never seemed to take her eyes off of them.  
  
“I’m gonna turn on the TV” said Rindy as she let herself fall into the sofa. “Anything you want to see?”  
  
“Nah, you choose.”  
  
“Alright… there’s this show on Netflix about the world’s most amazing homes. Oh my gosh, there was this one in Greece that was all white and shaped like a lego, but the inside of it was aaahhhmaaaazing. Dad said he would buy it for me for my birthday, but I’m pretty sure….” she scrunched her face and bit her tongue, her little fangs showing “that he was lying.” Therese laughed at yet another one of Rindy’s ridiculous statements and settled down on the sofa beside her. They watched an episode before Therese noticed Rindy was fast asleep. _She’s still not used to these earl mornings_ , she thought, _poor thing_. Without making too much of a fuzz Therese lifted herself off the couch and moved closer to Carol, who was still on her laptop.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
Carol looked up as if she hadn’t seen her. “Answering some emails.” she said. “Did Rindy fall asleep?” Therese nodded.  
  
“That girl..” Carol sighed and smiled, “she’s not used to the working life, she goes to bed too late, I tell her that all the time. But does she listen? No. This whole young mom thing isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, it’s _very hard_ to be taken seriously sometimes. If her father says something she listens, but with me it’s always _“ohhh mom!”_ ” Hearing Carol talk about Rindy felt oddly exciting, though Therese could not identify where that feeling was coming from. She remembered all the stories Rindy had shared with her about her mother and they were finally starting to make sense. It was as if Rindy saw her more as a sister than a mother, so her casual and slightly negative tone when describing her was not coming from a place of fear or rejection, but from a place of comfort and understanding. Carol carried herself with a light but confident air. She was sure of everything she said and everything she did. She was…  
  
“Are you close to your mother, Therese?”  
  
“No,” she heard herself answer before fully starting to think. “I haven’t spoken to her in about five years, right around the time I left home.” _This was very unlike her_ , she thought, _to share with anyone the parts of her life she considered the most private._ Carol’s eyes widened at the confession and she subtly pressed on, “You moved out at fifteen?”  
  
“Yup.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“She got remarried, and the guy was a jerk. We all knew it, he was a big jerk, but she didn’t see it. She said she loved him, and when he…” she hesitated for a minute.  
  
“When it came down to it she picked him over us, or me I guess.”  
  
“Did he…do something to you?” a sound of alarm in her voice.  
  
“Oh, no, nothing like that,” Therese shook her head emphatically. “I mean, he did hit me once, broke my wrist, but that was it.”  
“That was _it_? _That was it?_ ” Carol replied in horror. “Did you call the police, Therese?”  
  
“Oh, no…no, no, no. I walked to the emergency room and they patched me right up. Didn’t even ask me for ID or anything, I think it’s cause I was still a kid. I don’t know. Anyway, I came home, packed my bags, and left and I haven’t been back since.” Therese had gone on and on and didn’t notice that Carol had grown quiet, a small pool of tears collecting on the side of her eyes.  
  
“Oh, hey, noo…it was a long time ago. I’m fine, I’m fine. Look!” she held up her wrist in front of Carol “look I’m fine now. All better.” Carol stood up and quietly took Therese in her arms, holding her head against her chest in a long embrace. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”  
  
“I’m fine.” Therese reassured her, now wrapping her arms around the smallest part of her impossibly tall frame. “I’m all better now, I grew up.” She felt Carol place a small kiss on top of her head before letting go and wiping the tears off her face. “I promise, I’m fine.”  
  
“Does Rindy know all of this?”  
  
“Oh no…we don’t talk about things like this. She’s so…sweet, you know? I think it might scare her. Anyway, now that I see how you reacted I’m definitely never telling her. She’s like a little mini you, she’d burst into tears at the thought.”  
  
“She does act a lot like me, the poor thing, more than she even realizes.” She shook her head and settled back down in front of the computer, crossing her leg as she turned away, then she said: “You know, Therese, if you ever need to talk…about anything… I’m happy to listen.”  
  
“Thank you. I’ll remember that.”  
  
_________________________________________________  
  
“Dad’s home!” said Rindy practically shouting in Therese’s ear as she heard the sound of his car approaching. She ran towards the door and when she saw him open it she immediately jumped in his arms, wrapping her legs around him, and gave him a myriad of little kisses on the cheek. “Hi dad!” She said emphatically between kisses, “Hi dad! Hi dad!”  
  
“Hey kiddo!” He said, wrapping one arm around her and setting down his suit case with the other.  
  
“I'm so glad you’re back. What did you bring me?!” said Rindy enthusiastically, now practically bouncing on the floor. “Is that all you have to say to a weary traveler?” Asked Harge. _Sweet Harge, bad in the sack Harge._ “Where’s your mother, kid?”  
  
“She’s outside in the garden, she’s in a weird mood though, I’m warning ya.”  
  
“What else is new?” said the man winking at his daughter and smiling. And then, as if he suddenly noticed her, he said “Oh hi. Therese was it? Have you been here this whole time?”  
  
“Well… I did go home from the last time you saw me, but then I came back so no…and yes.” He gave her a warm smile and a light pat on the shoulder as he made his way towards the back of the house. _His hands sure feel big, I wonder if his dick is just small._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the titles of my chapters are all Beatle's song titles. Maybe Therese is into that classic rock.


	8. She Said, She Said

* * *

Chapter 2. She Said, She Said

* * *

 

“Shit…” whispered Therese as she and Rindy laid on beach towels in the back yard that afternoon.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Said Rindy, brushing off some of the strands that had fallen over Therese’s eyes as she propped herself on her elbow to talk to her.  
  
“I completely forgot about something I have to do tomorrow morning. Shit, shit, shit.”  
  
“What is it? Do you have to go?”  
  
“I think so… I have to…”  
  
“Noooo” whimpered Rindy in a way that sent a small chill through Therese’s core. “Stayyy, whyyyy” she pleaded.  
  
“I usually volunteer on Saturday mornings and they’re kind of expecting me. Besides, don’t you have to go to work tomorrow anyway?”  
  
“I’ll call in sick if you call in sick” she said with a mischievous smile.  
  
“You can’t call in sick to volunteering, and you can’t call in sick to Alani, she’ll kill you next time she sees you.”  
  
“But whyyyyy” said Rindy, throwing one of her legs over Therese’s hips. “It’s summer… people shouldn’t work during summer.” She continued to plead with Therese a little and she wondered if this girl was used to always getting a yes. _Yes from Dad_ , she thought, _but Carol? Nah, she must really just want her to stay._  
  
“Girls.” Carol said in a stone cold voice, a direct contrast with the golden afternoon. “Straighten up, your father’s inside.”  
  
“Sorry, mom.” said Rindy sitting up. “Therese has to go home, she says, she forgot she has something to do tomorrow.” The girl shot a mildly annoyed look at Therese, “and I guess I have to go to work. Do you think you could give her a ride?”  
  
“I’m sorry, Carol, I wasn’t thinking and I have this volunteering thing I have to do tomorrow.” She saw Carol hesitate a little and added “Actually, if you just drop me off at the bus stop I know I could find my way home.”  
  
“Nonsense. You’re not taking the bus.” There it was again, confirmation to one of Rindy’s many stories about her mother. “Give me a few minutes, Therese, then I’ll take you home.”  
  
Therese and Rindy picked up their small spread from the lawn and proceeded to go inside the house where Carol was already waiting for them. Rindy walked over towards a small table in the foyer to pick up her wallet when she heard her mother say, “Rindy, your father wants to talk to you. He’s in his office.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll go when we come back.”  
  
“Now, Rindy.” she said, her voice stern and commanding.  
  
“Fiiiioooonnneeeee. Be right back.” She ran up the stairs quickly and disappeared into the large office. “It will be a minute before they are done, we should get going. Do you have all your things?”

  
“I think so…” said Therese as she followed Carol outside and into the large SUV. It was the first time she would sit up front with her and she felt very strange about it, like it was not her place, but sitting behind her was not an option since Carol was not her driver. The whole experience was making her break out into a cold sweat.  
  
“Thank you again, I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience. I wasn’t thinking when I accepted Rindy’s invitation… I…”  
  
“Don’t worry about it, Therese” said Carol in a soft and tender tone. “Just direct me, please.”  
  
“Oh, head as if you’re going to the coffee shop, I live a few blocks from there. When we get close I'll give you direction.” They drove for a little while in silence and finally, finally, finally, Carol spoke.  
  
“I have been thinking a lot about our conversation, Therese.”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“What you shared with me about your family. What a long life you’ve lived in such a short amount of time. Do you live alone now?”  
  
“I do, it’s heaven.”  
  
Carol chuckled, but kept her eyes on the road. “I bet it is,” she said. “The thought of someone putting their hands on you…it’s very upsetting, you see.”

  
“No one is putting their hands on me anymore. I mean, not unless I tell them to” she said with a small laugh.  
  
She felt the air get suddenly stale, something had shifted and she didn’t know what it was.  
  
“Like Rindy?” she asked.  
  
Therese had told herself that if Carol hadn’t brought up the kiss by now she would never bring it up, the time had passed. Besides, Rindy said she knew and she was cool. But how cool was she? Rindy hadn’t even turned eighteen yet, and even though she was only two years older than her, maybe the age difference made her mom uncomfortable or made her look predatory. Fuck… “Things with Rindy are….well…I…I’m sorry Carol, I don’t really know what to say.”  
  
“Are you two…?”  
  
“NO!” Therese heard herself shout. “I mean, no! I mean, we kissed…we’ve kissed, but…that’s it. I swear.”  
  
“She’s young. And she’s my daughter, Therese. Don’t mistake my tolerance with permissiveness. It will not end well.”  
  
“Um, you take a turn on the next light and my building will be the second one on the left.” Therese said, swallowing hard.  
  
“Her father…he won’t like it, if he suspects anything he won’t like it at all. You wont be able to visit anymore, and she’d have to quit her job.”  
  
“Are you…are you going to tell him?”

  
“No.” she said pulling up in front of the small building. “If Rindy wasn’t allowed to see you then I wouldn’t be able to see you either.”


	9. I've Got A Feeling

* * *

Chapter 9. I've Got A Feeling

* * *

 

“What? Whaaaa-aaaat?” She said to herself as she closed the door to her apartment behind her. Within a step she was at the edge of the bed and she let herself fall into it, hard. “Okay,” she said to herself, turning around so that she was facing the ceiling. Her breathing was hard and her pulse was raising. “She wouldn’t be able to see me either?” _What the fuck is that supposed to mean?_ She brought her knees up to her chest and cradled them, rocking herself a little when she heard a fit of maniacal laughter. It was coming from her, she was laughing like a crazy person while rocking her knees back and forth and the image made her laugh even harder.  
  
This woman, this elusive creature, with all her rules and weird dislikes, wanted to keep seeing her. But why? Did she feel sorry for her after their last conversation, thinking herself a knight in shining leather cat suit? _Wait, fuck, focus_. Was she upset about her and Rindy? Was she scared of her husband with the big hands and small dick? Or was she… no, she couldn’t be jealous. _That’s some sick shit_ , she thought, _some real sick shit._ But wasn’t she the one who had accepted Rindy’s first invitation in hopes of seeing her mother again? Wasn’t she the one who had done math in her head, a task she usually avoided, to determine the age difference between her and Carol? Wasn’t she the one who had gone into the kiss with Rindy with the sole intention of licking her mother’s lipstick off her lip? Wasn’t she the one who…. _oh, shut the fuck up, you idiot._  
  
______________  
  
The day of Rindy’s birthday had arrived and her parents had planned a large garden party with all her friends from school. An evening surrounded by teenagers was not exactly Therese’s idea of a good time, having never really liked teenagers, even when she was still one herself, but Rindy had asked and she couldn’t say no. Then there was Carol. The mysterious and fascinating Carol.  
  
Therese showed up to the Aird’s house early, as soon as work was over to help them decorate and serve the food. What she saw when she got there, though, she did not expect although later she told herself she should have. There were about fifty people moving around the large house, large flower bouquets in hand, amongst a bunch of other things. Some in long white aprons, others in oddly cut navy blue shorts. The Airds were no where to be found and so as not to feel completely useless she asked what she could do to help. It wasn’t until about half an hour later that Harge came out into the big back yard and recognized Therese arranging some flowers that she stopped. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” He said giving her a confused look.  
  
“Oh, hello Mr. Aird…I didn’t see anybody so I thought I’d help.”  
  
“No, you don’t help, you’re our guest. Come on over here, get out of their way.” He waved a hand at her and motioned for her to come inside. “Come inside the house…Rindy isn’t even here yet.”  
  
“What, she’s not? Where is she?”  
  
“She went shopping with some of her school friends. Something about matching something or the other. I don’t know” he said waving his hand around.  
  
“And Ca…and your wife?”  
  
“She’s upstairs, getting ready. I have to step out for a bit before the party, Rindy should be back soon…you know how to turn on the TV don’t you? You can keep busy for a little while?”  
  
Therese nodded.  
  
“And stay out of the staff’s way?” He said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
_Yes, Mr Scrooge McDuck._ “Yes, Mr. Aird. I will.”  
  
“Aw, come on kid, I think it’s about time you started calling me Harge, you make me feel old!”  
  
_He really was a nice man_ , she thought, _too bad she hated him_. “Okay,” Therese smiled, “thank you…Harge.”  
  
“There you go,” he said giving her a light pat on the back. “Make yourself at home, I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”  
  
Therese looked around the empty foyer for a minute and started to make her way up the stairs. Past Rindy’s bedroom door, past the office and guest bedroom, up to the third floor, past the bathroom until she was standing in front of Carol’s bedroom. That’s a long way up, no wonder Carol has such muscular thighs , she thought, then she realized she’d never actually seen Carol’s thighs. She was a cyclist, there’s no reason for her to feel this tired by simply going up two flights of stairs. She leaned in to knock on the door when she felt it suddenly open leaving her to fall forward a little as she missed it.  
  
Carol stood in front of her, a confused look in her eyes. She was wearing a white linen blouse that hung loosely on her body and a pair of white linen pants that left little to the imagination due to their naturally translucent nature. Therese stepped back and took her in, a vision of summer. “I was just coming to look for you…” she said, as if everything that had just happened had been totally on purpose.  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“Well… Rindy isn’t here and Mr Harge is gone and he told me not to help the workers downstairs and…well, I told him I remembered how to turn on the TV, but the truth is I don’t.”  
  
Carol laughed and draped her long arm over Therese’s shoulder to lead her back downstairs. “Come on, silly goose” she said as they walked together. This really was not what Therese had expected upon seeing Carol again. The last time they had been together she threatened her, she thought, at least it sounded like a threat, and then she told her she wanted to keep seeing her. She really is a puzzle, this woman. They had reached the foyer by the time Carol moved her arm from Therese’s shoulder.

  
“Would you like a soda or something? Ice tea or juice?” Carol said as she moved towards the large kitchen.  
  
“Yeah,” said Therese, “I guess I’ll take a coke.”  
  
“We don’t have coke in this house, but I do have sparkling soda.”  
  
“Sparkling soda is sparkling water, it’s not soda.”  
  
“Do you want any or not?” Carol shot back, feigning getting annoyed.  
  
“I’ll take some juice, I guess.”  
  
Therese watched in horror as Carol took out a large glass pitcher of thick green juice and poured it into two glasses. The glasses were small, she noticed, but the juice didn’t flow… it flopped into the glass in big lumpy lumps.  
  
“Oh….no, I thought you meant…”  
  
“It’s good, Therese. Try it before you say you don’t like it.”  
  
“Oh no, it’s just I think I’m allergic to..”  
  
“To what? What’s in here?”  
  
“Green.” said Therese, unable to think of a different answer.  
  
“You’re allergic to _green?_ ”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Drink it.” said Carol, putting it in Therese’s hand. “I’m going to stand here until you drink it. Go on.”  
  
Therese let out a big sigh and then took a deep breath before starting to chug the liquid down. She was going to get through it quickly and maybe if she couldn’t smell it she wouldn’t be able to taste it either. She took a few big gulps and noticed Carol still staring at her, a smile on her face.  
  
“Well?”  
  
“Well…," said Therese licking her lips, “it’s actually not so bad…it tastes like… like….?”  
  
“Pineapple.”  
  
“Yes! Pineapple, and…”  
  
“Green?”  
  
“Actually, yeah, it does taste green. But I guess not in a bad way. Hey when Rindy said you made her drink this every morning I was imagining it tasted like broccoli or seaweed or boogers or something.” Carol laughed and shook her head, “Yeah I suppose by the way she describes it you would think of something like that, wouldn't you? But it’s good, right?”  
  
Therese nodded.  
  
The two sat in silence for a little while before deciding to go outside and watch, _not help_ , the workers finish setting up for the party. Carol leaned back against a large beach chair and invited Therese to do the same on the one beside her, but instead Therese sat at the edge of the one Carol was at, close to her feet. “Can I ask you a question?” said Carol, wiggling her foot a little to get Therese’s attention.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Where did you go when you left your mother’s house?”  
  
“Well… I had this boyfriend back then. His parents sometimes let me stay the night at their house, his mom was actually an old teacher of mine. Nice lady.”  
  
“You moved in with your boyfriend…at fifteen?”  
  
“I didn’t move in with my boyfriend, I moved in with his parents, it just so happened that he lived there, too.”  
  
“And school?”  
  
“I still went, his mom made sure of it. I was a sophomore in high school and I had a lot of exams at around the time I moved out, a few of them I ended up failing. I think that's why…”  
  
“Why what?”  
  
“I think that’s why I wasn’t offered a scholarship at the end of senior year. Some of the things I couldn’t make up. I did graduate, though. So..”  
  
“So…you went to school” her foot was moving closer to Therese’s thigh, “and that was it? You graduated and moved out?”  
  
“Oh no, I got a job. I started cleaning people’s houses, it was the only job I could really do at fifteen because nobody really asks how old you are if all they want is for you to clean their house. I saved up a little money, too, not a lot, but enough to buy my cap and gown for graduation, my bicycle, my Doc Marten boots…”  
  
“Your…boots?”  
  
“Awwww, yeah man! Richard had this old school poster of No Doubt on his wall, that I’m pretty sure he would get off to when I wouldn’t put out, and Gwen Stefani was wearing this insane pair of hot pink Doc Martens…that poster changed my life. It got Richard and I through some real awkward times.” she said laughing at the memory. She was now sitting with both of her legs crossed underneath her and Carol’s foot between them as she told her details of her story she wasn’t used to recounting. She got a distracted a little by the feeling of Carol’s milky foot against her ankles and forgot she was in the middle of a story. She wasn’t used to talking this much, not about this, or anything, so she didn’t notice when she had gone quiet and left Carol wondering what happened next.  
  
“And?”  
  
“Your nail polish is nice.” she said, touching the tip of her finger to Carol’s toenail. “Your whole foot is nice…” she traced her index finger from he big toe to her ankle, slowly lifting up the fabric of her pants as she did. Suddenly, as if finally remembering where she was, she pulled back and tucked her hands into her lap.  
  
_______________________________  
  
When all the guests had arrived Therese started to become aware of the peculiarity of her age. She wasn’t quite young enough to have anything to say to the kids from Rindy’s school, but not quite old enough to talk to their parents either. Everyone was in their forties, well dressed, well mannered, and she wondered where all of these people had suddenly come from. She took frequent walks around downtown and never saw any of them. Not at the bank, not at the grocery store, not at her tiny coffee stand. She noticed Harge conversing with a well dressed, but loud, group of men. They patted him on the back and shook his hand eagerly and laughed and laughed at everything he said as if he were the most clever man in the world. _He’s not._  
  
Then she noticed Carol, sitting with a group of women, looking remarkably unfamiliar. This Carol had no aura, she looked extinguished and small and, yes, constantly shrinking. She looked around at the women, all at least ten years older than her, talking among themselves and laughing at their own jokes. Carol sat back and listened to them calmly, not saying anything, nodding here and there and softly fading away. Therese watched attentively as Carol got up and left her table and made her way towards the house. Just then, Rindy ran over to Therese and urged her onto the dance floor. “Come on! Come on!” She said eagerly tugging at Therese’s hand.  
  
“Not right now, Rindy… your dad is here.”  
  
Rindy’s eyes fluttered and she nodded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before running back to the dance floor where her friends where now in a circle waiting for her.

  
“Go Rindy! Go Rindy!” Therese heard them shout in the distance as she made her way into the big house, looking for Carol.


	10. Come Together

* * *

Chapter 10. Come Together

* * *

 

She started in the kitchen, gave it a quick once over and noticed she wasn’t there. She wasn’t in the living room either since she had a clear shot of it from where she was standing. Not in the foyer. Maybe she had gone upstairs. She wouldn’t be in Rindy’s room, but maybe me check the office. Nope. Probably not in the guest room either, but I guess it’s her house so might as well check that as well. Nope. Therese was about to move downstairs when she noticed a fourth door on the other side of the stair case. Weird how she hadn’t noticed it during any of her other visits. She made her way towards it and saw the door was opened slightly. She pushed it further so it would open completely, and there she was, sitting on an ugly antique chair next to a dozen equally ugly antique artifacts.  
  
Therese knew Carol felt the door open, but she didn’t move. As Therese walked close to her, she still didn’t move. Then Therese pressed her palm lightly over Carol’s shoulder and felt her shudder, then reach around with her own hand to take Therese’s. She was crying.  
  
“Hey…hey, hey. Are you okay?” said Therese as she leaned in searching for Carol’s face.  
  
“I’m fine,” she said and gave Therese a weak smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m fine.”  
  
Therese brought her hand to lift Carol’s chin slightly so that she was looking up again, but almost instantly she saw Carol’s demeanor change. She got up quickly and wiped her tears, taking a step back and away from Therese. “What are you doing in here?” she asked abruptly.  
  
“I saw you leave the party, you looked sad, and I came to look for you. What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothings wrong.”  
  
“I cry all the time when nothing is wrong, too” said Therese nodding, trying to lighten the mood. “I think that’s why my eyes are so big,” she continued, “permanently swollen from all my no-big-deal crying.” She could tell Carol was trying to pull back, but she couldn’t hide the smile that had crept over her stern mouth.  
  
“It’s just…those women. Those women are insufferable!” she admitted finally. “They waltz in here as if they haven’t spend the last few years talking shit about me behind my back…and in front of my face. ‘Carol, you look so good!’” she said in a mocking tone, “ ‘What do you do to yourself to stay looking soooo young?’ ‘Carol you’re so fit, no one would believe you have a teenage daughter. What’s your secret?’ Being a teenage mother you fucking cunt, that’s my secret! Having a kid while still being a kid, that’s my big fucking secret. You know how I stay looking young? By being fucking young, you filthy old hag…”  
  
This was a side of Carol Therese had never seen before, she was angry, livid, pacing around the ugly room back and forth in a state of rage. She didn’t look like a cat anymore, she looked like a raging bull ready to impale the next fucker in a red sweater who crossed her. Somewhere in the corner of her brain Therese thought about what it would be like to be that red-wearing fucker. To dangle something in front of her only to take it away and send her fuming into another furious rampage. She found herself moving closer to Carol as she was still ranting about all the guests at her daughter’s party. Carol didn’t stop talking until Therese was standing about a foot away and leaning dangerously close to her face. “Can I kiss you?” whispered Therese into her mouth. Carol’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “What…” she started to say before Therese pressed her lips hard against her’s. The kiss was long and deep, wet and dangerous. It wasn’t sloppy as she had imagined it might be, it was sensuous and controlled, as if the both of them had been carefully planning for it since the day they met. Therese could taste something familiar on her mouth, _waxy and with a hint of cocoa butter_ , she thought, _lipstick_. She took her time licking her clean until the only trace of it was smeared on both of their faces in a light pink hue. When they parted they were not out of breath, but their hearts were racing.  
  
They heard a pitter patter of feet on the stairs and instantly took a step back, attempting to conceal themselves in the darkness of the ugly room. It was Rindy, Therese was sure of it. She did this thing when she walked, well skipped, where she would hum the same old song in rhythm with her steps. Every other time she had found it enchanting, but in this moment it was terrifying. She wasn’t a brave red-wearing idiot anymore, but a scared and bleeding girl and Carol, she had the look of a cat who had been swatted with a newspaper. They both stayed back as they heard the girl go in and out of her room and then happily back down the stairs.  
  
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Carol hissed. “What the ffffuuckk…” she stopped herself, running her hand over her mouth and then through her hair. “What the fuck was that?” she said attempting to whisper.  
  
“I don’t know,” said Terese honestly. She really didn’t know what had come over her “but I’m no sorry.” she finished. She watched Carol press her palm over her eyes and shake her head slowly, whispering something underneath her breath. “You stupid girl…” she said still shaking her head, but this time walking towards her. Therese watched her as she took her face in her hands and leaned in to kiss her again, in the same way as before, long and hard and deep and with a purpose. Carol moaned softly into Therese’s mouth and she thought back to her first night here, listening to her and Harge, then going back to her room and imagining all the things she would do to her if only she had the chance. Now she had the chance. Therese moved her hands from her sides to Carol’s hips and slowly started to pull down her linen pants. “What are you doing?” she said as she pulled back from their kiss. “What does it look like I’m doing?” Therese replied. “We can’t do that here…” said Carol as she started to pull away.  
  
“Wait…wait. Where are you going?”  
  
“We can’t stay in this fucking room…we have to, I have to get back to the party.” Therese saw her walk away and pulled her hand abruptly to turn her back around. “No.” she growled, surprising both of them. Therese stood on her tippy toes to reach Carol’s mouth and brought her in for another long kiss, this time pushing her back so that she was pressed against the wall. Without breaking away, Therese slipped her hand into her pants and calmly found her way to Carol’s center, wet and delicious and sticking to her hand, much like the ice cream cone she had wasted the first time she saw her in town. “Therese…” she gasped, pulling away from their kiss, as she felt Therese’s small fingers stroke her over the cotton of her underwear. “I just want to feel you…” said Therese, still stroking and returning to the kiss. When she felt Carol start to rock her hips she started to slowly pull away, both from her hand and lips. Carol’s eyes fluttered opened and saw Therese several steps away from her, trying to catch her own breath.  
  
“We should go back to the party…” whispered Therese, still struggling to breathe. “They’ll start to miss us.”  
  
“What…. what?” said Carol, readjusting herself and trying to find her footing. Therese smiled at her as she made her way to the door. “Give me a five minute head start though.” she said before slipping out the door and running down the stairs.  
  
  
By the time Carol made it back downstairs people had already started to miss her. She had changed her outfit and was now in a flowy mint summer dress that reached all the way down to the floor. “Babe!” said Harge at the sight of her, “Rindy was about to start opening her presents, c’mere.” He motioned for her to come and sit next to him. “In a minute… I have to get mine from the stables.” she said, walking away.  
  
Therese watched Rindy open one gift after another, completely surprised and appearing truly appreciative anyone had gotten anything for her. She talked about letting her friends borrow every new thing she got, and how mom would definitely love this pallet, and dad would probably want to play  this and that video game with her. Then the girl let out a loud gasped which was followed by a loud shriek. “No! No! No, no, no, no, no! Dad! Look, look at mom!” Harge gave Rindy a knowing smile and motioned with his head for her to run up and meet her. They were still out of Therese’s sight when she heard Carol say “Now, calm down love, don’t scare her.” Her?  
  
Sugar. Unmistakably, it was her darling Sugar.  
  
“Mom…mom, mom.” Said Rindy trying to calm herself down. “Is she mine? I mean is she ours? Are we keeping her?”  
  
“She is, darling. She’s all yours. Her name is Sugar.” Rindy swung her arms around Carol and gave her a tight embrace eliciting a round of applause from her guests. Then she looked up, tears in her eyes, and gave her mother a sweet peck on the lips.  
  
Carol’s eyes met Therese’s. _Fuck._


	11. Day Tripper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your encouraging comments, you are making this so fun for me!

* * *

Chapter 11. Day Tripper

* * *

 

On Saturday showed up at the Humane Society and learned that she only had a handful of duties that morning. They had brought in a few feral cats who were to be neutered, vaccinated, and then sent back out to the wild. She didn’t particularly like cleaning cages, or holding cats steady as they got shots, but she knew that every little bit of help was appreciated. She had tried to get Alani to join her on the afternoon they both had off together, but she refused and said she wasn’t good at seeing sick animals. _As if someone people were naturally good at it_ , she thought. Therese had spent the last few months volunteering here and loved to hear stories of the pets who had gotten adopted. Some people would send in pictures, others would send letters describing how their new buddy was adjusting to their forever home. This was her favorite kind of job here, searching through the mail and picking the best stories to put up on the bulletin board. Today, however, she was cleaning cages.  
  
Her thoughts went back and forth to the events of the night before. She knew it wasn’t regret she was feeling, but she couldn’t put a name on the sensation in the pit of her stomach. “What about Rindy?” she would mumble to herself. “It’s not fair for her to get hurt...” she would continue on. That kiss, though, those kisses, actually. _Those were not the kisses of somebody that didn’t want to be kissed_ , she thought, remembering how Carol had sunk into them like one would sink into the ocean at the promise of a treasure in the deep.  
  
Her morning went by relatively smoothly, she only got thrown up on once, after all. As she was leaving she noticed on the reception desk a large white envelope with a hand written name and addressed, it said : Mr. & Mrs. Harges Aird & Miss Rindy Aird. She was itching to reach down and open it, see what the Airds had written, but she knew it wasn’t her duty and didn’t want to raise any suspicions. She excited the building, burying her curiosity deep inside, and started heading home. She was usually done by six of seven, but it was half past three and she had the whole glorious afternoon to spend on her own. She decided she would take a stroll through the park, the one that overlooked the docks. It was a warm afternoon in summer and as she cycled through the park she found herself letting go of the handle and throwing her arms over her head as she listened to the music blasting through her headphones. What a treat it was to spend an afternoon outside. No worries, no problems, but instead avoidance and complete bliss.  
  
__________  
  
By the time she got back home it was a quarter to eight and she felt as if her entire body had been hit by a garbage truck, dragged, compressed, and then smoothed back out, expected to walk as if nothing had happened. “What the hell happened to you girl?” she heard Mike say from the window. “I fell” she replied with a groan.  
  
“Stay right there, I’ll come down.”  
  
“No…Mike, I’m fine now…I can walk, its just this damn bike..and this damn cast…” She wasn’t done with her sentence by the time Mike was already next to her, taking the bike and carrying it under his arm while extending the other arm for Therese to hold on to. “What the hell happened to you, girl? Did you get hit by a car?”  
  
“No, worse.” Therese shook her head and locked her arm with his, “The bike stumbled on a rock and I wasn’t holding on to the handle and…well now my wrist is broken and I’ve got a really nice doctor’s bill to worry about.” They finally reached the top of the stairs and Mike helped her into the small apartment. “I don’t know if that’s worse, but damn it girl, I told you that bike was dangerous.”  
  
“I know, Mike, you told me. But, Mike…”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll help you fix the damn thing. Now go to sleep or something, you gotta work tomorrow?”  
  
“No, but maybe I pick up a shift, since I’m indebted to Big Pharma now.”  
  
“Big Pharma don’t run the hospital, silly. That’s…”  
  
“Big Pharma runs everything, Mike…” Therese said as she fell into the bed and mumbled the rest of her sentence. Her eyes barely open, her brain a fuzzy haze of conspiracy theories and contempt for all rocks, ever.  
  
“Go to sleep, dummy, I’ll check on you tomorrow.” said Mike, closing the door behind him.  



	12. Her Majesty

* * *

Chapter 12. Her Majesty

* * *

  

The next few days of work had left Therese completely spent. Trying to manage around the small cabin with that bulky cast on her forearm was a nightmare and every day felt like it lasted longer than the one before. She was taking longer with each order, and all her guests, even the regulars, had started getting annoyed. During the first few days of the week she was used to working the morning shift alone, but knowing she had to endure this cast for at least eight weeks, she didn’t fight Mena when she suggested putting someone else in with her. When Thursday rolled around she saw the familiar sight of a black SUV pull into the small parking space, and the butterfly girl emerged from it. _Stay calm_ , Therese thought to herself, _be casual and let her down easy._  
  
When Rindy walked through the door her eyes were immediately drawn to the cast. “What happened!” she exclaimed, lunging forward to touch it.  
  
“Hello, I’d like a sixteen ounce dark roast, please” said a voice from the window. Carol, looking fresh and alert and perfect despite it being six in the morning. “Mom! Look at her arm.” Rindy said from behind her, “Therese, what happened?”  
  
“Oh, nothing,” she said, darting her eyes back and forth between Carol and Rindy. “I was riding through the park and I went over a rock, and well, long story short I get to keep this baby on for seven or eight more weeks.” Therese felt Rindy wrap her arm around her and rest her head on her shoulder, already this day was not going as she’d hoped. “I’m very sorry, darling…” said Carol, reaching across the small window and placing her hand over Therese’s. “I’m fine,” she said, shaking them both off. “I just have to do things left handed, that’s all.”  
  
“Will we be seeing you around this weekend?” Carol asked quietly.  
  
“Oh, yes, you have to come over Therese! You can’t be alone… what if you need to eat, or you get hurt or something? Come on, stay the weekend!” urged Rindy, “Dad is out of town again and it would just be us girls. Mom could drive us to work tomorrow and then me on Saturday… You don’t mind hanging out with her on Saturday afternoon while I’m at work, do you mom? We close at six, that’s still early….” Therese and Rindy both looked at Carol who softly shook her head. “I don’t mind at all” she said quietly, as if in secret.  
  
The morning went by uneventfully, and Therese thanked the God she wasn’t sure she believed in for it. Rindy told her about her plans for back to school, her last semester of high school. She had already passed all her exit exams and was working on her collage essay, although she couldn’t decide on the topic from the five she had narrowed it down to. When noon rolled around, Carol pulled into the parking lot and waited for the girls to come out. “You didn’t bring your bike to work today, Therese?” asked Carol.  
  
“Oh no, I trashed it pretty bad…besides, I’m not gonna ride it while I have this thing on,” she pointed to her cast, “if it wasn’t safe when I had two hands I can’t imagine now with just one. I walked here, I was planning on walking home.”  
  
As the climbed settled into the car Rindy looked back at Therese and motioned for her to lend her her glasses, again, for the hundredth time that day along. “Mom, don’t you think I’d look cute with glasses? Look at me. You think you could buy me some?”  
  
“I think you’d look cute in anything, love, but those belong to Therese. Let her look cute in them.” Carol said, and Therese felt as if Carol was lighting matches under her feet. “I didn’t know you wore glasses, Therese.” she said.  
  
“Yeah, since I was a kid. Blind as a bat, I’m afraid… I don’t wear them a lot anymore, I think they make my eyes look bigger, but since I can’t put in my contacts with this thing,” she raised up her cast again “glasses will have to do for now.”  
  
During their short drive to her apartment Therese looked at Carol attentively through the rear view mirror looking for any signs of remorse, or longing. She wasn’t sure which she wanted to see, but her eyes searched Carol’s inquisitively. When they pulled up to the front of Therese’s apartment she quickly jumped out of the car saying she would be right back. She scurried up the stairs and picked up her old backpack from the hook it was on and started to pack her clothes. For the first time in weeks she was starting to feel like herself again. Funny how a familiar pain makes you remember what you’re all about. _Can’t escape your life, I guess_. She was nearly done straightening things up when she heard a knock on the door, probably Mike.  
  
It was Carol and Rindy standing in front of her, not waiting in the car as she had asked them to.  “We wanted to see where you….ohh..wow” said Rindy quietly, taking in the small apartment in all it’s miniature glory. She took a step inside and looked around, Carol walked behind her.  
  
“This is where you live?” asked Carol.  
  
“Umhm.” Therese said, looking around and nodding.  
  
Therese didn’t have to wonder what Carol was thinking anymore. Her expression had changed from a puzzle into a loaded gun. Her eyes grew smaller and her lips stiff, as if she was clenching her teeth to prevent herself from spouting out her disapproval. “It’s really cute!” said Rindy in a tone that Therese knew better than to doubt or misinterpret.  
  
“Is it safe here?”  
  
“Yes. I’ve lived here over a year and it’s perfectly safe.”  
  
“Over a year,” Carol sighed in disbelief shaking her head, “in here?”  
  
Therese grew more and more uncomfortable the longer Carol spent in her space. Her perfect, tiny, full of life space. It was being ruined by this growing tempest of judgement and contempt. She started to feel anger sprouting in her chest. She was angry they hadn’t waited in the car, angry that Her Royal Highness had fooled her into thinking she was something other than a haughty rich woman. She was proud of what she had, because she had gotten it all on her own, and she would not let anyone step into her life only to make her feel small. “Lets go!” said Rindy as she pulled Therese’s hand and moved her towards the door, “Sugar is waiting at home!” Therese watched Carol as she excited her space, noting how careful she was not to touch anything.  
  
The car ride to their house was quiet, except for Rindy sharing facts about how long broken wrists actually take to heal. She’d never broken anything, she confessed, but she definitely deserved to more than once. “I don’t know what that means” said Therese, shaking her head.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you when we get home.”  
  
They walked into the house a few minutes later, and when Rindy started to make her way towards the sofa where Carol was headed Therese pulled her back. “Let’s go upstairs,” she said taking her by the hand and giving Carol an icy glare. “Your dad’s not home anyway.”  
  
Therese guided Rindy up the stairs and as they walked into her room Therese turned back to look at Carol, who was following them with her eyes. “Good night, Mrs. Aird.” she said, as she closed the door behind them.


	13. Get Back

* * *

Chapter 13. Get Back

* * *

 

 

Therese had kept the music loud on purpose all afternoon, not wanting to hear any sign of Carol on the other side of the door. After a few hours, though, she started to wonder why she hadn’t barged into the room to look for them, or called Rindy downstairs with her to keep them away from one another. It was well past dinner time and there was no sign of kale wraps or gluten free granola tarts or any of the other weird concoctions the crazy woman downstairs would usually come up with. She started to wonder if she was even home, and instructed Rindy to go downstairs and check, but Rindy shook her head and told her Carol was spending the afternoon riding. Therese’s anger had slowly started to subside as she and Rindy talked about her plans for when school was finally over. She’d never been a great student, she admitted, always needed private tutors to help her get by, but she was determined and she passed all her classes. Therese never heard her mention any special friends, not from childhood, not front school. She said that her party had been full of people she liked and that liked her, and that they were all perfectly nice and she enjoyed spending time with them, but they were still new friends and being away for six months had made them grow apart. Six months is a long time when you’re seventeen, soon to be eighteen, after all.   
  
The sun was setting later and later every day, and as they talked and laughed…and laughed and laughed, they stumbled into one random conversation after another, like falling down an endless rabbit hole. _That_ was the sofa Rindy used to jump off of and into the bed, until Carol caught her and scolded her telling her she might break something. _That_ was the drawer she would hide all the foreign candy her dad would bring her back from his trips when she was little, until her mom found those too and made her throw them all away except for one. On and on and on they went, spinning in a carousel of absurdity.  
  
“Remember the first night you came over?” asked Rindy. They were now laying on her bed together, head to feet to head to feet, gently intertwining their fingers as they talked. “No…” said Therese, unsure of what the girl was really asking. “Yeah…and I asked you if you believe in fate. You said no. Remember that?” Therese nodded to herself, “Oh yeah, I remember that.”  
  
“Why don’t you?” Rindy asked quietly, her soft voice sounding further away each time.   
  
“I don’t know…” Therese started, “I guess I don’t like the idea of things happening to you because they are supposed to happen to you. Some bad things happen, Rindy…I know it might seem hard to believe in here, your little castle, but bad things happen every day.”   
  
“I know,” she sighed, “but it’s not just the bad stuff I’m talking about. I mean, the good things too. Look at mom and dad, they said that I was what it took for them to find their soul mates. If that’s not fate, then what is?”  
  
“Your mom said that?”  
  
“No, my dad. Mom isn’t a romantic. She had a lot of things happen to her that ‘knocked the dream right out of her’ as she says. Therese?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Why don’t you ever talk about your mom and dad?”  
  
“Well, my dad died when I was little. I don’t really remember him.” She was lying, she remembered everything about him. Everything important, anyway. He was a small man in everything but heart. He never said more than he needed to, and he never seemed to miss an opportunity to take her by the hand. He had been gone a long time, and as to not mistake her memory with fantasy, she had set him aside into a small corner of her heart. Safe.   
  
“And your mom?”  
  
“We don’t have to talk about this Rindy, I think it’ll only make you sad.”  
  
“I don’t mind” she said quietly.   
  
“Well… my mom. My mom did the best she could for a little while. Then she gave up.” This was not a topic Therese liked to get into. Up until this point she had really only discussed her mother with her teacher, the one that took her in, and Carol. What a fool she was, she thought, for thinking she would understand anything about her life.   
  
“What do you mean?” said Rindy, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
“Nothing, really… don’t worry about it. Why don’t we talk about something else. Tell me about your childhood. Did you grow up in this place?”  
  
“I did…” Rindy started, dropping the subject. “I was born in New Jersey, but my mom and dad and me moved here when I was five. My grandma still lives in New Jersey, but she’s really sick right now. It’s sad to visit her, but mom says we have to go often, so she doesn’t forget us.”   
  
“And why did you and your mom and dad move here?”  
  
“Well, when I was five I got really sick, and mom said she wanted to get out of the city…so we moved here.”  
  
“You were sick?” Therese had a small flashback of her first night here, watching Carol get lost in thought about being the twenty year old mother of a five year old girl.   
  
“Yeah. Meningitis. Do you know what that is?” Rindy’s fingers were still twirling around in Therese’s hand. Therese nodded quietly, afraid to speak. “Well, mom said she thought I had a fever, but it didn’t go away after a couple of days. Dad was traveling as usual and grandma, well, I don’t remember what grandma was doing. I was sick for a week, until mom finally took me to the hospital. She said the doctor yelled at her for not taking me sooner and threatened to take me away…” Therese could sense that Rindy’s voice was starting to break, “But mom isn’t afraid of anybody…” she continued after a pause and chuckled lightly. “Anyway, mom says I was in the hospital for two weeks after that, and a lot of doctors were checking on me, but that I was mostly just asleep. She said even Susan came to visit, but mom didn’t let her in.”  
  
“Who’s Susan?”  
  
“That’s mom’s mom, we don’t see her very much. I think I met her once. Anyway… after that mom and dad decided to buy this place and we’ve been here ever since.”  
  
“It makes sense the way she treats you now…” She started to feel a small tingle in her feet, one that made her wonder if this is what it felt like to defrost, to slowly regain your feelings back bit by bit. Carol was a mystery to her and it seemed like the more she got to know her the more confused she became. _She shouldn’t have kissed her_ , she thought, _she should have fought the urge_. She didn’t know anything about her, and the girl in the bed laying next to her was breakable. What was she thinking…  
  
“What do you mean?” asked Rindy, interrupting her thoughts, as the bedroom door swung open.   
  
“Girls…it’s getting late. Rindy, it’s time for Therese to go to her room.”   
  
“Mom, you startled me! We’re just talking, can’t we stay up a little while longer?”   
  
“You wont want to get up for work tomorrow if you stay up too late, you know that.” Carol urged her lightly. “But mom…I don’t work until noon.”  
  
“Rindy, I said _no_. Say goodnight.” Therese got up and gave Rindy’s hand a light squeeze before getting out of the bed and disappearing into the hallway with Carol.  
  
“You think that’s _funny?_ ” asked Carol when she was sure they were far enough away from Rindy’s door, her eyes puffy and her voice deep. “You think it’s funny to lock yourself up in my daughter’s room, and what.... _what_ was the point of that?”   
  
“We were just talking, Carol.” There said calmly.  
  
“What if I hadn’t walked in?” Carol asked giving her an icy stare.   
  
“We would still be talking. We spent the entire afternoon just talking. She’s my friend, we talk.”   
  
“…ha.ha.ha.Ha.HA. Your friend, right, your _friend_.” She growled as she walked into the guest room, Therese following closely behind.   
  
“She is. She just doesn’t realize it yet. I think she’s lonely, Carol.”  
  
“Don’t you fucking dare tell me anything about my daughter.” Carol shot back. Therese stood there watching Carol for a moment, Rindy’s words ringing in her ear “Mom isn’t scared of anybody...” She wasn’t, not for her. Carol was staring at her, her arms crossed tightly under her chest, breathing heavily. There she was again, looking like a wild animal about to charge. The dangerous feeling filled the room, but instead of offering herself up in sacrifice again Therese simply said “I’m sorry.”  
  
The words seemed to shake Carol out of a trance. Two seconds ago she looked like she was ready to pounce, but her expression had suddenly softened. “I got mad at you... and I tried to make you angry, too. It was stupid of me. I’m sorry.”   
  
“You were mad at me? Why were you mad at me?” said Carol arching her brow and crossing her arms under her chest again, as if regaining her will to fight.   
  
“You….you walked into my apartment and,” Therese started calmly, “the look on your face. You should have seen it. It looked like you had walked into a room full of rotting carcasses. I know it’s not a mansion, I know it’s small, but it’s mine. And your face…” Therese turned to meet Carol’s eyes, “You made me feel so small. Smaller than I’ve felt in a very long time.”   
  
Carol dropped her arms and smoothed her shirt nervously as she moved closer to Therese, taking her in her arms. “Oh, Therese, I…”  
  
“I think you should go.” said Therese, pulling away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your encouraging comments! <3


	14. Things We Said Today

* * *

 Chapter.14

* * *

  

Therese had opted to stay behind when Carol dropped Rindy off at work, offering to take Sugar on her early afternoon walk. The neighborhood was beautiful, full of new homes and the street was lined with tall Douglas firs, guarding each house like it’s own personal giant. Therese had called the Humane Society the week before and told them she would be stepping back a little while she tended to her broken wrist and they assured her she shouldn’t worry about a thing, and instead thanked her profusely for everything she had done for them.  
  
Her hot pink boots and her adorably frightening dog were the topic of many small conversations throughout their walk. Some people asked about the breed, others about her boots, and one woman about her cast. Therese told them all that the dog belong to the family up the street, and everyone remarked about the ‘darling girl’ finally getting her wish. And what a darling girl she was.  
  
When they got back to the house Carol had already arrived and Therese felt an almost paralyzing anxiety that she had purposely avoided thinking about what they might say to each other when they were finally alone. As they walked into the house they found her busy in the kitchen, preparing lunch. Therese walked over as Sugar, who was still on her leash, led her towards her food bowl. “What are you making?” asked Therese, wanting to get rid of the silence.  
  
“Mac & Cheese.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“You asked what I was making…I’m making macaroni and cheese. Would you like some?  
  
“Yeah…” answered Therese as she walked towards the kitchen island, asking herself if she had heard correctly both times Carol spoke. She sat quietly as Carol finished preparing lunch and served the macaroni and cheese into two small and colorful bowls. She hadn’t seen those before, she thought, all of their usual china was white and luminescent…like her. Carol picked up both plates and started walking towards the living room, motioning with her head for Therese to follow her. “Let’s sit in here, it’ll be more comfortable.” Carol sat down on the large sofa and Therese settled on the smaller, but still large, arm chair. She swung her feet over the arm rest and reached for her bowl of mac and cheese nearly falling to the floor as she did.  
  
“You know I got married when I was eighteen?” Carol started to say as Therese took a bite of her lunch, immediately scrunching up her face and sticking out her tongue.  
  
“This isn’t mac and cheese…” Therese said, mouth open, as she chewed the weird substance. “Oh my…what is this?”  
  
“It’s a brown rice and quinoa pasta and vegan sharp cheddar cheese.”  
  
“That is not mac and cheese, Carol, that is a dirty trick.” she said, straightening herself up on the couch, looking disappointedly at the imposter mac and cheese in her chipper yellow bowl. For a moment it’s as if she had forgotten about the anxiety that only a few minutes ago had made her limbs stiffen. Then the realization of what Carol had said started to sink in. “Wait, I thought Rindy said you got married when you had her?” Therese said, looking up.  
  
“No,” said Carol, shaking her head, “I got married the day I turned eighteen, at city hall.”  
  
“Really, city hall? That’s not what I had pictured at all.” Therese said as casually as she could. She could feel the ice caps starting to shift, a rumbling in her core signaling slow and devastating movement was ahead. They were finally alone, and they were talking.  
  
“What did you picture?”  
  
“Well…” she started, looking slightly over Carol’s head as she talked, “if watching British period dramas has taught me anything,” she shot a quick look at Carol, who was still watching her, “.. _and it has_ , I imagined you falling in love with a handsome boy in your class…Let’s see, you both came from good families…but his family was slightly better off than yours. You fell in love and you told your parents it would be forever, you were sure of it, and that if they didn’t give you permission to get married you would…elope. Yeah, that sounds about right. So instead of a sweet sixteen they threw you a wedding. A big, beautiful, expensive wedding. But quick, too, since you were knocked up and all.” Therese finished off with a light shrug of her shoulders.  
  
Carol let out a hearty laugh as Therese explained her version of the events. “You’ve got quite the imagination.” She paused for a minute and looked away, “Harge was my first boyfriend, Therese…my only boyfriend, actually. We met as kids and became fast friends. He asked me out when we were still in middle school and it didn’t mean anything to me to say yes. We played together a lot, his family had a huge back yard and horses, it was with them that I learned how to ride.”  
  
“You didn’t have horses, too?”  
  
“No. We didn’t have anything.” said Carol, shaking her head. “My mother and I lived in a small apartment, she worked two jobs and sometimes I barely saw her. I spent my time with the neighbor, or with Harge and his family. Then, one day while were playing around, Harge asked if we could try something he had seen on his computer, and I said yes, not thinking anything of it. It was weird, and it made me uncomfortable, and I told him I didn’t want to do it anymore…” Carol chuckled lightly at the memory, surprising Therese. “Anyway… nine months later there was Rindy.”  
  
Therese was left unsure of what to say, the lightheartedness of the beginning of the conversation now gone. She would have never imagined, simply by looking at Carol, that she had such a history. This tall, proud, fearless woman. A woman she had imagined called the shots in every aspect of her life, stunted by an unplanned pregnancy.  
  
“When I told my mom I was pregnant she kicked me out of the house.”  
  
Therese’s jaw dropped, taken completely by surprise by another startling confession. “She what?”  
  
“She said I was a slut, a disappointment, and she never wanted to see me again. She said I was her only hope at a better life and that I had ruined my life and hers by ‘opening up my legs to whomever asked’, as she kindly put it.”  
  
“Carol, I… I don’t know what to say.”  
  
“I moved in with Harge and his parents that same day. He proposed to me that day too, the sweet thing. My mother wouldn’t talk to me to give us her permission, which I needed since I was still a minor, so we waited until I turned eighteen and went to city hall. There’s a picture of us on a table in the foyer, where we are all wearing white, have you seen it?”  
  
“I have, but I thought it was from a party or something…not your wedding. Does Rindy know?”  
  
“Not yet, but she will when she gets a little older. Harge and I have always planned on telling her, she just doesn’t handle bad news very well.”  
  
“Carol…?” asked Therese quietly, afraid of spooking her, or maybe spooking herself. “Why are you telling me all this?”  
  
“Yesterday…when Rindy and I walked into your apartment, when I saw where you live, how you live…it broke my heart.”  
  
“I live well, Carol,” Therese felt her anger starting to light up again as a small flame in her stomach, “Just because I don’t have a lot of things doesn’t mean…”  
  
“I know you live well, Therese” she said in a quick but calm tone. “You look happy, the space looks happy. It looks like you.”  
  
“What?” said Therese shaking her head, “But your face…No, you should have seen your face.”  
  
“I’ve got the face my mother gave me, not much I can do about that. But…when I saw how you lived, when I thought of what you had gone through at the same age I was when I got pregnant, it made me sad…for myself. It made me sad because I didn’t fight. I retreated into a safe space and trapped myself in a marriage and…it just broke my heart all over again. I wasn’t judging you, Therese. I admire you. I really do.”  
  
Therese sat on the arm chair for a little while and watched Carol pick mindlessly at the not-mac-&-cheese in her plate before deciding to get up and sit beside her. She sat down close so that their thighs were touching and searched for Carol’s eyes. “Are you leaving him?”  
  
“Yes…” Carol started to say before Therese stopped her by placing her hand on her chin and bringing her in for another long kiss. _Yes_ , that’s all she needed to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of two chapters, just because I think they go hand in hand :)


	15. Wild Honey Pie

* * *

Chapter. 15 Wild Honey Pie

* * *

 

 

Their kiss went on for days and years as they slowly explored each other’s mouths and tongues. It was calm, and deliciously unhurried. The feeling of finally being alone, of seeing Carol bare part of her soul. It was exhilarating to Therese, who had wanted nothing more than to know her, really know her, since the first day they met. She started to run her left hand over the fabric of Carol’s shirt, past her abdomen and over her breasts, her supple and glorious breasts. Carol let out a soft moan against Therese’s jaw, who had since broken their kiss and had started to suck on and nibble on parts of her neck, her jaw line, and her collar bone. “Take me to bed.” she finally whispered into Carol’s ear as she placed a collection of soft kisses behind it.  
  
If there was ever a time to turn back this was it, thought Therese, as Carol led her up the stairs into the guest bedroom. They didn’t bother closing the door behind them knowing no one could walk in, but the minuscule possibility someone might left a chilly sensation in Therese’s stomach. As they made their way to the bed Carol began to undo the buttons on her blouse before Therese stopped her. “No, let me.” One by one she undid them, kissing every new bit of exposed skin as she went along. Carol melted into the bed as Therese continued to unwrap her, and the sight of this magnificent creature almost completely exposed in the bed she had been sleeping in was making her body break out in an involuntary tremor.  
  
Therese climbed into the bed, straddling Carol, and leaned in for another kiss. This one was deeper and with a sense of purpose. She wanted to taste her, every last bit of her, and as she continued to she felt herself become ravenous. Nothing was enough, no amount of contact would suffice. She wanted to feel her against her hands and in her mouth. She continued to kiss her as her left hand clumsily found it’s way to the waistband of her jeans. “Fuck…hang on” she said, as she struggled to unbutton them. “Need some help?” said Carol, panting lightly and looking up at Therese. “No, it’s just this damn cast…give me a minute.”  
  
“Oh, I don’t have a minute.” said Carol, sliding her arm around Therese’s waist and flipping her onto her back on the bed. Carol climbed over her and began to kiss her hungrily. “I was gonna let you go first,” she said, noticeably out of breathe, “because I’m nice…and because I tricked you into eating vegan mac and cheese,” she continued as she placed hungry kisses and bites onto Therese’s lips and collar bone. “…but you’re taking too long, and I’ve been waiting too long already.” Therese could barely catch her breath as she felt Carol’s hands move all over her body. Her mouth was hungry and her hands knew exactly how to touch her in a way that would send chills up and down her spine. Carol undressed her quickly, then took a minute to admire the sight before her. “You’re perfect…”she said as she leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on Therese’s sternum. “You’re…” a kiss on her small breast “…absolutely” then the other, “perfect” she finished, taking one of Therese’s nipple in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it lightly. Therese moaned and arched her back at the sensation. _How is it possible for something so soft to feel so good._  
  
Carol continued her path through Therese’s body leaving wet kisses and soft bite marks as she did. Therese could feel her moving down, getting closer to her throbbing center. Any hesitation she might have otherwise felt, about her husband, about their ages, about her daughter, was disappearing like the mist that covers the bay against the bright morning sun. Carol was the sun. Carol was the whole fucking universe in that moment. Her hands, a heaven for her to look towards. Her mouth, an altar for her to pray at, and her tongue, her fucking tongue, a deity for her to worship. As Carol took her in her mouth Therese could hear herself moaning, panting, and writhing underneath her. It’s as if she could see it all happening, as if it were happening to somebody else. She reached down and grabbed a handful of Carol’s hair, _all too real_. She propped herself up on her elbows so she could look down on Carol’s mouth on her, _not a dream_. Then Therese saw her look up, their eyes locking in a fixed gaze. Carol slowly slid two fingers inside her creamy slit and Therese felt any remaining ounce of strength leave her body. She fell back on the bed and with an animal groan felt her body surrender completely to the woman below.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, was it good for you? *lights up a cig*


	16. From Me To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a little fluff! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all again for your wonderful support. I love this fandom!

* * *

Chapter 16. From Me To You

* * *

 

 

 

“I’m starving” said Therese as she propped herself up on an elbow. “Can we order take out?”  
  
“We don’t order take out in this house” said Carol in a mildly playful but actually completely serious sort of way. “You and your weird food rules. You know, there’s more to life, hell! there’s more to eating, than lumpy green juice and seaweed and Carib lozenges.”  
  
“I know there is,” said Carol as she pulled her in for another kiss, which she herself interrupted to add “where the fuck did you have seaweed and Carib lozenges?”  
  
Therese laughed and pressed herself back onto Carol’s mouth, “nowhere..” she mumbled, “it just sounds like something you would keep in this house…” she had started to suck on Carol’s bottom lip, “…like the kind of candy you give to kids on Halloween.”  
  
“I’ll have you know the kids in the neighborhood love me during Halloween.” Carol said, melting into Therese’s mouth, and Therese could feel a familiar warmth growing in her stomach and between her legs. She felt Carol’s body getting closer, her chest pressed against her own so that their nipples were face to face with one another, taunting each other, seeing whose would react first. Carol’s mouth tasted like honey, somehow, and her whole body was a bee hive buzzing with…  “Wait…what’s that buzzing?” said Therese, opening her eyes with a flutter.  
  
“Oh, shit. My phone. Hang on, stay there.” Carol quickly climbed out of the bed and searched her jean pockets for her phone. “Hello? Yes, honey…Okay, alright, give me half an hour, I’ll be right there.”  
  
“Is everything alright?”

  
“Yes…it was Rindy, she said it wasn’t very busy and her coworker told her she could leave early if she wanted to.” _Fuck_ , she thought. _Rindy_. The reality of their situation, which had happily escaped her for the last couple of hours, was starting to crawl back into her mind. No, not crawl, push and shove it’s way back in to the very first row, to that space right in between her eyes and she could feel it pounding. “Carol…I wanted to tell you, again, nothing is going on between us. I can’t even remember the last time we kissed…I..”  
  
“Oh, I know, Therese.” Carol said as she started to dress herself. “You’d be a fool to think Rindy doesn’t tell me everything that’s going on in her life. She’s my daughter.”  
  
“Fuck, that is weird to hear out loud, especially after…” Carol leaned in to kiss her and stop her from finishing her sentence. “Are you coming with me to pick her up?”  
  
“No, I think I’ll stay here and fix this room. Maybe take a shower.” Therese saw Carol start to pout, sticking out her bottom lip in an exaggerated way as if asking her to reconsider. “You owe me…this is the second time you leave me waiting, and I will not tolerate a third.”  
  
“There won’t be a third,” answered Therese. “In fact, while you’re gone I’ll go online to find a YouTube tutorial on how to become ambidextrous in thirty minutes. I’ll be all set by the time you get back.”  
  
_______________________  
  
Therese heard the front door swing open and a familiar laugh invade the room. “You already said! No take backs! When dad gets back I’ll ask him, but he always tells me to ask you, and yooouuu alreaadddyyy saaaiiiidddd.” Therese heard Rindy say in a sing song voice.  
  
“Guesssss whaaaaat?” Rindy said excitedly, running to Therese and bouncing up and down in front of her. “Whaaaaaaat?” asked Therese in a mocking tone, taking both her hands, and mimicking her bouncing.  
  
“Beyonce! Queen Bey! She’s coming to town in the fall and mom said she’d take me to see her! Ahhhh!”  
  
“Hold on,” said Carol as she hung her purse by the door. “I told you you could go if…”  
  
“I know, I know, if I bought my own ticket. Oh my gosh, mom…” Rindy started up again, this time running towards Carol and putting her small hands on her mother’s shoulders. “Can we bring Therese? Therese do you like Beyonce? What am I saying, everybody loves Beyonce. Oh my gosh mom, can she come?”  
  
“I don’t know, Rindy… why don’t you ask Therese. Oh look,” Carol said pretending to be surprised, “she’s right there! You can ask her now!”  
  
“That does sound fun, but I think I should take care of this” Therese said raising her cast and shrugging, “before making any fun plans. Sorry!”  
  
“Oh, well I could probably save up enough for the both of us…mom’s buying her own ticket so it wouldn’t be that much…” Rindy persisted. “Absolutely not!” said Therese, playfully tossing her arm over Rindy’s shoulder and leading her towards the living room. “I’m already here all the time eating your mom’s delicious food…” she gave Carol a quick glance over her shoulder along with a sly smile. “I’m trespassing too much on your hospitality as it is. Besides, we can have our own little concert right now…” she continued, picking up the remote control, “I mean, once you remind me how to turn on the TV.”  
  
“First… that’s the control for the thermostat, so…” Rindy replied playfully. They spend the next half hour flipping through different music videos and discussing the likelihood of either of them being able to hit even one of the high notes. When the video playlist landed on the song “Love On Top” Rindy shot straight up like a rocket and pulled Carol’s hand so that she was standing up next to her. “Therese! Mom and I know this whole choreography. Watch!” Rindy motioned for Carol to get into position as if they had done this a million times before and she smiled as Carol happily obliged. “Rindy… we haven’t done this since you were a kid, I probably don’t even remember it.” Rindy bit into her lower lip excitedly, showing off her cat like fangs, and nodded. _Even then she looked like Carol._ “Yeah you do. Come on, play it Therese!”  
  
As Therese watched them dance she felt a mixture of joy and guilt. The guilt, however, slowly disappeared as she and Carol locked eyes again, like they had just hours before. _Those eyes_. When the song was finally over Rindy collapsed onto the floor exhausted laughing lightly in between breaths, while Carol made her way towards the armchair and tossed her legs over the arm rest as Therese had done earlier in the day. She was panting, completely out of breath, but she looked happy. A different kind of happy. Therese liked seeing both.  “Pick another song!” Rindy instructed from below, laying like a chalk outline on the floor, completely spent. “Alright, I’ll pick a slow one.” she replied while looking at Carol. It was a song she knew well, it started with a rap verse and Therese mouthed along to the lyrics while keeping her green eyes locked with Carol’s. “ _Woo!_ ” she started playfully, “ _you will never need another lover…cause you a MILF and I’m a mothafucka…_ ” Therese bit her lip, slightly elongating the ‘ _ffff_ ’ sound of the word. She could see Carol’s eyes growing dark as she continued to softly mouth the lyrics, emphasizing only the phrases she wanted her to hear without actually having to speak the words. Carol started to shift in her seat and slowly rolled her shoulders back, as if getting ready to pounce. “…. _I ain’t no pastor, don’t do missionary_ …” Therese continued shaking her head, “… _I know good pussy when I see it I’m a visionary._ ” The tension in the air was palpable and Therese wondered how long she'd be able to keep this up before one of them snapped.  
  
Then, a voice from below, “Okay, I hate Kanye West…NEXT!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The choreography:  
> https://youtu.be/Ob7vObnFUJc
> 
> The rap:  
> https://youtu.be/sig15597k2A


	17. Ticket To Ride

* * *

Chapter 17. Ticket To Ride

* * *

  
  
Therese and Rindy were sitting at the kitchen island staring down at Rindy’s phone, pair of head phones shared between them. They both looked attentively as Therese told her to _wait..wait_ , and after a quick pause they erupted into a fit of laughs. “And what exactly is so funny?” said Carol playfully from the other side of the kitchen, integrating herself into the conversation. “This girl we work with was driving and taking a video of herself…” Rindy started to says as she wiped tears from her eyes, “And you can see the exact moment a cop pulls up behind her!” Therese finished as they both erupted into another fit of giggled.  
  
“Oh, I swear with you two” said Carol as she removed an empty plate and a half eaten breakfast from Rindy and Therese respectively. “Thank you for breakfast, Carol, it was wonderful” said Therese giving Carol a sly smile. “Darling, will you help me with the dishes?” replied Carol, addressing Rindy and ignoring Therese.   
  
“Sure, mom” she said, handing Therese the pair of earphones. She made her way around the island and stood next to Carol, who leaned in to whisper something in her ear. Therese couldn’t quite make out what she had said, but seeing Rindy nod emphatically and smile she had to assume it was something good.   
  
Carol had gone upstairs, and Therese was still sitting on the other side of the island when Rindy came over to her and, taking her by the hand, led her up to her room. As they walked in she moved right past Therese and into her large walk in closet, disappearing from view. After a few minutes she came back out with a pile of clothes in her arms, which she threw on the bed and motioned to Therese to come join her. “Put these on.” she instructed as she made her way back over to her closet.   
  
“What’s this for? Are we going somewhere?”  
  
“Just put them on!” She said from afar, “and hurry because mom will probably already be waiting for us.   
  
.   
  
When they reached the stable Carol was already there, softly talking to a large black hose, petting it lightly with an un-gloved hand. Rindy leaned in close to Therese and said “She’s the only one that will let you do that. And she’ll only let mom,” she continued, giving Therese a small smile, “she hates the rest of us.” Therese watched Carol for a second longer before she broke away from the horse and approached them. “You both look wonderful” she said as Rindy started to make her way towards Lady Mary’s stall. “I like this look” she said to Therese softly, looking down as she took in her Burgundy breeches and tall riding boots, meeting her eyes with a wink.  
  
“I’m so glad I didn’t get rid of any of that” said Rindy, poking her head out of the stall. “It doesn’t fit me anymore, but now you get to use it!”  
  
“Huh?” Said Therese softly, still confused about what exactly she was doing there.   
  
Carol took a step behind her and placed her hand on the small of Therese’s back, leading her forward into the stall at the very end. “This is Piper,” she said, as she stretched her hand out to the horse and motioned for Therese to do the same. “Hi Piper,” said Therese, offering her hand for Piper to smell as she did to all the new dogs at the shelter.  
  
“Piper is the best!” said Rindy from her stall, “She lets anybody ride her, she’s so easy and sweet. She’s great for kids…” she said with a giggle, “and beginners.”  
  
“Oh, hey, wait a second…” started Therese, the realization of what was going on slowly sinking in. “I don’t think…”  
  
Carol moved over to Piper’s side and tugged on Therese’s arm a little to get her to follow. “Get me a brush from there ” she said, pointing to the bucket hanging on a hook on the wall. Therese went to reach for it and gave it to Carol, who proceeded to demonstrate how to properly brush the horse. _You start at the neck, then the body, then the rump_ , she instructed. She handed the brush to Therese and stepped back and out of sight as Therese got closer to the animal. She gave her a couple of brush strokes and felt the beast move to her touch. _She was frightening_ , she thought, _but gentle_ , and she couldn’t help but smile at the realization that she had encountered that combination before. She was taken back by the response from the animal, breathing long and deep breaths against her body, and she thought that although she had been here only a few weeks before with Rindy, she hadn’t really paid attention at the magnificent creature. “Harder” whispered Carol, leaning into her ear, and stretching her hand to fall over Therese’s, “she needs to feel you.” Therese felt an electric shock surge through her spine at the sensation of having Carol close. “When you’re done, do the other side.” she instructed as she stepped out of the stall.  
  
.  
  
“She’s sweet, isn’t she?” asked Carol from across the way.   
  
“Yeah, she’s beautiful too.” said Therese sincerely.   
  
“Alright, now take the rope that is next to the bucket and clip it to her halter. Stand on her left hand side and slowly, _slowly_ lead her out of the stall.” instructed Carol.   
  
“Oh hey, wait…”  
  
“Just go…” said Carol softly, closing her eyes and elongating the ‘ _ohhhh_ ’.  
  
Therese swallowed hard and did as instructed and was pleasantly surprised Piper followed her without any resistance. She met with Rindy and Lady Mary right outside the doors of the stables and noticed Rindy was already on the horse. “Are you ready?” she asked eagerly, looking down Therese.   
  
“Oh, no, I don’t think I’m gonna…” she said shaking her head, “but look, I gave her some really pretty braids in case she wants to go out and about all on her own.” she said, making Rindy smile and remark on her silly attempt to get out of her lesson. Therese led Piper to the back of the stables with Rindy and took pause at the sight before her. She’d never been this far back on the property and it was a beautiful empty space with a forested area in the horizon that seemed to go on forever. “Where does it end?” she asked Rindy.  
  
“There is a fence a few acres that way, then a river behind it and then the highway. Don’t go past the fence,” she instructed, “mom and dad don’t like that.” Just as Therese had assured her and herself she had no intention of going anywhere even near the fence they heard a soft voice in the background say, “You can go, darling, I’ve got it from here.” Anxious to go, Rindy gave Lady Mary a quick _hut hut_ as she patted her feet to her sides and they were off in a fast gallop.   
  
Therese looked back to see Carol, already on her horse, looking like the equestrian fantasy she never knew she had. She stood tall atop this magnificent creature. The horse was black, so black it reminded Therese of something a child would color with the blackest crayon in the box. The mane was wave and finely brushed out and the tail was impossibly long. Therese stood there, mouth open, taking in the vision in front of her. _She looks like Lady Godiva_ , she thought, in her white riding outfit against this black backdrop of a horse. Carol looked down at Therese and gave her a warm smile before dismounting and coming to stand next to her.   
  
“Are you ready?” she said, as she led her horse to Therese.   
  
“Oh, no…there’s no way. Listen, if I can’t even ride my bike with this cast I definitely can’t control a horse.” Carol put her gloved index finger against her own lip and signaled for Therese to stop talking, which she did, then she took a step further, released Piper from her rope, and with a quick pat on the rump she said _hut hut_ as they both watched her take off running into the open field.   
  
Therese looked back at Carol confused, who was now handing her the rope that was attached to her own horse. Therese took it without thinking and watched Carol as she reached for a small step stool and set it down next to the horse. “We don’t normally do this,” she said, as she handed her a single riding glove, “but since this is your first time, we’ll make an exception. "Okay, now, put your left foot on the stool,” she motioned to Therese “…hold on to her side here, and swing your right leg over the back. I’ll be here so you don’t fall.” A look of terror and amusement was immediately painted across Therese’s face.  
  
“On _that?_ I’m not getting on _that!_ ” she said, point to the horse.  
  
“Her name is Matilda and yes, you are.” she said. Therese opened her mouth to make up another excuse, but as she fixed her eyes on Carol’s face she noticed a warmth about her that she didn’t often see. Not wanting to disappoint her, but arranging all of her affairs in her head in case of death, she followed instructions and made her way atop Matilda, her small frame coming in handy for once. She was getting used to feeling the huge animal under her when she felt a ferocious clawing at her thigh and then, in one fell sweet, Carol settled right behind her. Therese felt her body melt into butter at the sensation of Carol’s chest against her back and then, her arms around her waist. “Hand me the reigns,” she breathed into Therese’s ear, “Hang your legs loosely on her sides, and try to relax,” she said, pulling herself closer to Therese and laying her forearm over her thighs, fist closed firmly between Therese's legs, “I’m steering.”   
  
They spent the next few minutes getting used to the animal and each other before settling into a slow and leisurely walk. Therese could feel Matilda’s large lungs expanding and she tried to match their breathing, and was surprised when Carol noticed what she was doing and leaned in to do the same. “This is nice, isn’t it?” said Carol, leaning into Therese’s face to give her a small kiss on the cheek. “Umhmmm” hummed Therese, hypnotized by the sensations she was feeling. “Now, I want to try something a little faster, but it’s going to require a little work on our part, too.” said Carol. Therese’s soft eyes opened with a flutter at the thought of moving faster and began to protest when she felt Carol place her gloved hand on her abdomen, right below her bellow button, and caress her softly. “Shhhh…” she said, in an effort to sooth her. “It’s not hard. When _her_ front leg takes a step forward, all you do is squeeze your thighs a little around Matilda and lift yourself up lightly. I’ll show you” she said, as she pressed her hand firmly on Therese’s abdomen and lifted herself off the horse and onto Therese, igniting a warm fire as Carol’s abdomen pressed against her buttocks. “Now you try it” Carol instructed as Therese quietly obliged. “Very good she said, moving her hand down slightly and caressing her a little in a spot Therese knew Carol was well aware was not her abdomen. “Now let’s try it together” she said as she lifted herself up and pulled Therese along with her, melting back into each other as they lowered their bodies. “How does that feel?” she asked Therese, who was in a haze. “Umhm” she replied quietly.   
.  
  
“Hey!” said a soft voice from just out of sight. “You guys didn’t even try!”   
  
Lady Mary was trotting along joyfully as Rindy held on to her reign with her left hand and Piper’s rope with her right, guiding both horses back to the stables. “I’m sorry, darling” said Carol at the girl, “I tried to get Matilda into a steady gallop, but Therese got too scared.” Carol’s left hand now holding Therese’s shoulder, while her right hand had Matilda reigned in.   
  
“Oh, I understand!” said Rindy wholeheartedly. “You’re really brave, even dad wont get on Matilda after she dropped him.”  
  
“I didn’t know about that” said Therese, now completely alert, “I wouldn’t have gotten on either if I had known.” Carol gave Therese a gentle, almost in-perceivable, squeeze of the shoulder before admitting she had purposely avoided to tell her in fear of exactly that.   
  
“Mom taught me to ride,” said Rindy, as she dismounted. “So a couple more days like today and you’ll be an expert. Next time, you can take Piper and we’ll let Monte run loose!”   
  
As Rindy made her way into the stables with Lady Mary and Piper, Carol held on to Therese as she dismounted Matilda and held out her arms for Therese to follow. “I think I got this,” said Therese, letting herself fall of the horse, but landing on her feet. “That wasn’t half bad,” she said, looking at Carol as the sun had started to set. An afternoon together, hidden in plain sight, not half bad at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter twice because I forgot to save the original. FACEPALM. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you again and again for all your awesome comments and encouragement!


	18. Dizzy Miss Lizzy

* * *

Chapter 18. Dizzy Miss Lizzy

* * *

 

 

Monday morning had brought Therese nothing but pain. More pain than she had ever imagined was possible, until Tuesday came along that is. Her little riding lesson had proved to be fun, more than fun, but the soreness in her thighs the next day and, somehow worse, the day after, was something no amount of cycling could have ever prepared her for. “I feel like I straddled a rocket to the moon.” she sad as she laid on her back, her body bare while her giant comforter was tucked between one of her legs, propping it up. “You’re just not used to it.” suggested Carol, who was laying beside her. “Try it a few more times, on a saddle, on your own, and you’ll get the hang of it.”  
  
“Nothing is getting me back on that thing!” Therese replied emphatically. “Nothing?” Carol asked, walking her long fingers up Therese’s abdomen like a little leader of a marching band. “Nothing.” said Therese, holding her ground. “What if I asked nicely?” asked Carol, her fingers now changing directions, heading south. “Nothing” said Therese, biting the corner of her bottom lip. “And if I asked really nicely?” said Carol, leaning in to speak directly into the spot behind Therese’s ear, her fingers finding their way to the soft curls between Therese’s legs. “Nothing..” she said in a whisper, closing her eyes and then opening them back up quickly. “What if I…” continued Carol as she leaned into her mouth and kissed the side of it, gently sticking her tongue under Therese’s upper lip, her fingers now dangerously close to her center. “Nothing” said Therese, reaching her own hand down to take Carol’s, surprising her.   
  
Carol gave her an inquisitive look, unsure of why she had been stopped. “I mean…” Therese started up again, entwining her fingers with Carol’s, “unless you show me what I stand to gain.” Carol gave her a confused look, not sure what she was asking. “You’ve heard me complain about my soreness for the past hour and you haven’t said anything.”  
  
“Well, I’m not sore.” Carol said, still confused and maybe mildly annoyed. “Then prove it”, said Therese, reaching around her waist to pull her in on top of her. She kept her eyes fixed on Carol’s for a moment before lowering them to take in the full splendor of her naked body. She lingered on her chest and her soft abdomen, seemingly untouched by the life that had grown just below the surface. “Come here,” she said, sticking out her tongue and pushing her head back against her pillow a little. Carol’s eyes shot open, then sunk bank down into their natural state, her pupils growing dark as they descended. She slowly straddled Therese’s waist and moved herself up so that she was right above her mouth. With a gentle tongue Therese reached up to taste her and, as she did, she felt Carol lower herself down further at the sensation.   
  
.  
  
Harge was sitting in the armchair mindlessly watching a preseason game as Therese and Rindy moved through the kitchen like a small tornado. Therese had become more comfortable in that kitchen, having made herself lunch many a time when all the Airds had were Carol’s signature what-the-fuck-are-these. Rindy moved like a nymph through a garden, handing Therese whatever she needed to complete her dishes, and while Therese tried to imitate her grace, she often found herself becoming distracted at the last millisecond of all her actions, resulting in plates set down abruptly or drawers getting shut with force. She could see Carol watching them, trying to hide her disapproval over how much salt she was using and chiming in to offer healthful alternatives that kept getting shot down.   
  
“You know!” said Hard, looking up from the game, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carol let someone make us dinner before. You must be something else, kid!” He said giving Therese a thumbs up. _Sweet Harge_ , she thought and shook her head. _No, we hate him_.  
  
“Dad, Therese made dinner for us on mom’s birthday, you just didn’t have any!” Rindy chimed in from inside the pantry.   
  
“TWICE?” exclaimed Harge, this time looking at Carol. She threw her arms up and shrugged, “Must be the old age, babe! I’m delusional and losing control.” she replied with a smile and a roll of her eyes.  
  
 _Babe?_ Therese saw Carol give her a quick glance as if to see if she caught that, a mild look of alarm in her eyes.  
  
.  
  
“I don’t think you aught to do that…it’s like swimming. Give it another hour, love.” said Harge, trying to persuade Rindy down.   
  
“No way, mom has to drive Therese back home soon and I told her we would get on after dinner.” she said, climbing into the trampoline where Therese was already waiting for her. Carol and Harge sat on opposite sides of a small patio table watching them. Harge took to his cellphone and Carol sat back observing the show.   
  
“Okay, stay there, I’m going to jump and see how far I can bounce you, okay?” said an excited Rindy. “Okay, I’m ready!” replied Therese, holding her arms tightly to her sides. Rindy leapt off the rubber mat and let herself come down hard sending Therese flying through the air. She fell back down on her butt and as she landed she erupted into a fit of laughter that drew the attention of both Carol and Harge. “Again! Do it again!” Therese instructed as she settled back down. Rindy and her repeated the process several times, giggling and falling into each other each time, until they finally settled into a light bounce. Therese could see Carol watching them through the protective mesh, Harge was still on his cell phone. Every few seconds he would look up until the cell phone lit up again and he would go back to minding it. As they bounced, Therese saw him get up from the table and lean into Carol’s ear to tell her something. His phone lit up again, the screen revealing what looked like bite marks on his neck. _It couldn’t be_. Therese felt a sudden rush of blood flow to her face, making her hold on to Rindy for support while asking her to let her out. She had to get off, she had to see him up close. _How could she have missed that during dinner. Was it really what she thought she saw?_   
  
She quickly got out of the trampoline and approached him, no plan in mind as to what to do when she reached him. Carol watched her as she moved closer, lifting herself up from her seat slightly as if positioning herself to intercept her if she needed to. Out of the corner of his eye Harge saw Therese take a few steps towards him as he walked into the well lit kitchen area and, as he turned to meet her, the light revealed a pair of fresh bite marks on his neck. “What’s up, kiddo?” he said, looking at Therese.   
  
_They’re still fucking?_ Therese though, a surge of anger and fire festering in her stomach, coming up through her esophagus and threatening to come out to devour the man in front of her. She stood there for what felt like hours, and as she opened her mouth to speak she realized it wasn’t actually fire she felt, and leaning forward, hands on her knees, she proceeded to vomit all over the patio floor.


	19. The Fool On The Hill

* * *

Chapter 19. The Fool On The Hill

* * *

 

 

“Darling, are you okay?” said Carol with alarm as she quickly got up from the patio chair and rushed over to Therese, who was still hunched over, heaving. “I’m fine!” she shot back, wiping her mouth with her sleeve and looking away from the three people now standing beside her. Harge walked into the kitchen and reemerged a few seconds later with a tall glass of water. “Take this, kiddo” he said, stretching out his arm towards Therese, who took the glass of water reluctantly and watched him walk away.   
  
“I want to go home.” Therese said after a minute, her back still to Rindy and Carol. Rindy put her small hand on Therese’s shoulder and Therese fought the urge to shrug it away, to push her away, to push them all away to hell. How could she have been so stupid, after she had heard them together on her first night here. How could she believe this woman was leaving her husband, for what, for _her?_ She barely noticed when Rindy walked away from her and quickly came back holding a hose to clean up the dinner she had just spewed.   
  
“Come on,” said Carol, placing her palm on the small of Therese’s back to lead her towards the kitchen, “I’ll take you home.” Therese swung her arm behind her and aggressively pushed Carol’s hand off of her, eliciting a sharp “ah!” from the woman by her side. “Don’t fucking touch me.” Therese whispered, walking forward without looking at her. Carol didn’t argue, but instead stayed back and asked Rindy if she would mind cleaning up while she drove Therese home and that she might be a little late getting back so as to ensure she was feeling okay. Therese wished she could run away then or simply disappear from view. She didn’t want to look at Carol, but even the thought of Carol looking at her made her feel that familiar and burning feeling in her stomach. How could she have been so stupid? How?  
  
She climbed into the back seat of the car and pressed her head against the window, letting her short black hair fall over her face. When Carol pulled into the drivers seat she quickly turned the car on and pulled out of their drive way. They hadn’t advanced half a mile when Therese felt the car come to a stop. She looked out the window to see what had happened and then quickly back at Carol, confused. Carol had shifted in her seat and was now facing her, a look of concern and mild annoyance on her face. “You want to tell me what that was all about?” she barked at Therese.  
  
“Nothing, take me home.”  
  
“Not until you tell me what happened out there. I saw you walking towards Harge, what the fuck was that about? Did….did you do that on purpose?” she said, looking somehow more confused than before.   
  
“That would upset you, wouldn’t it? If I was rude to your _husband?_ ” she elongated the word “ _husband_ ” as if to prove a point.    
  
“As a matter of fact yes, it fucking would.” she said, her tone now noticeably angry. “He has been nothing but nice to you, Therese. He doesn’t say anything about all the weekends you spend here, all your time with Rindy… he hasn’t said one unkind thing to you since you met and you do… _.that?_ ”  
  
“I don’t want to hear any more about your fucking husband!” Therese shouted, covering her face with her hands as soon as she was done speaking. “Just take me home.”  
  
The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Therese kept her eyes fixed on the road beside her, but eventually had to close them as she felt that same nauseated feeling started to invade her at the sight of the blurry street lamps and the people passing by. When they pulled up to the front of the small building, Therese reached for the door handle, ready to push it open, when she noticed an unexpected saltiness on her tongue. A few stray tears had formed under the lids of her closed eyes and had gently rolled down the side of her left cheek and into her mouth, glistening in the soft light from the dimly lit street. “You…” she started, suppressing a sob, “you said you were leaving him” she said as she swung the door open and hopped out of the car, running behind it before crossing the street and disappearing from view.


	20. I’ll Cry Instead

* * *

Chapter 20.  I’ll Cry Instead

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Carol sat on the edge of her bed, one foot planted on the floor, the other tucked neatly under her thigh. She was lost in thought, biting into one of her manicured nails when she felt a pair of strong hands land gently on her shoulders. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” asked Harge, starting to massage her slowly. Carol shook her head and lightly shrugged her shoulders, making a feeble attempt to shake him off, before settling into his gentle touch. “She’s small, but she looked like she was ready to shank me” he went on as Carol held her resolve to ignore the conversation completely. “I thought they had been getting along well, did the news suddenly hit her and make her mad or something?”  
  
Carol shook her head, finally, and acknowledge the man. “No, I don’t think she’s told her yet.”  
  
“Then what?” he said, his deep voice booming against the back of Carol’s head as he leaned closer. Carol softly closed her eyes and reached both hands to find his, stopping his gentle massage. “She’s just…” Carol sighed, stroking Harge’s hands, “she’s like a landmine, Harge. A landmine in a beautiful field of wildflowers.”   
  
“Oh, Carol…” he said, as if suddenly understanding what the entire world seemed to know all along. “You’re not telling me you two…” he paused, waiting for a response before having to finish his sentence. Carol nodded softly while placing one hand on her forehead. “Jesus Christ, Carol!” He exclaimed letting go of her shoulders and scratching his head nervously. “I know, I know,” she sighed as she felt herself shrinking. “What about Rindy?”I thought the two of them…” he paused again. “No, thankfully that never happened. Not really anyway. Rindy and I have already talked about it a lot, they’re really just friends.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Carol was still sitting there, her face in her hands, when she felt Harge get off from the bed and move around to squat beside her, his large knees on either side of her as he pulled her leg down between them and massaged her calves gently. “I told her I was leaving you” she said, a stream of hot tears now steadily flowing down both of her cheeks and landing on her and Harge’s thighs. Harge slowly moved his hands up her calves, past the outside of her thighs and landed on her hips, giving her a light shake so she’d turn down to look at him. “Is that all you told her?”   
  
Carol nodded, looking down at Harge. _What a kind face he has_ , she thought. The only man who had ever truly loved her. And then she spotted it, the purple and red marks on his neck. She paused, taking a minute to look at them before lowering her tear stained fingers down to touch them. “Oh, that!” He said, shaking his head, “I can explain that!”   
  
“She must have seen this…” Carol whispered as she turned Harge’s face to the side to look at his neck once more. “She must have seen this on you and thought…Oh, Therese” she sighed, shaking her head as she stood up and moved past Harge who was still squatting by the bed. “I have to go explain” she said as she pulled off her robe and let it fall to the floor. “Carol” he said, now sitting on the bed. “It’s late, the girl is probably tired, and that is a very long conversation.” He stretched out his arms and motioned for Carol to come closer. She obliged, and once she was within reach he took her by the hand and lowered her onto his lap, embracing her tightly. “Instead, why don’t you fill your husband in on what you’ve been doing while he’s been away?” A warm smile spread across her face as she reached around Harge’s large frame to give him a tight hug.   
  
“Well…” she started. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About time we got something from Carol's POV :)


	21. Hello, Goodbye

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 Chapter 21. Hello, Goodbye

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The next couple of days were spent in a haze. Between picking up extra shifts that started at the crack of dawn and getting to bed, _not crying,_ only shortly before she was scheduled to work, Therese felt the strength in her body fail her at the thought of doing even the smallest tasks. Her walks to work seemed eternal, steaming milk felt akin to medieval torture, and the thought of seeing Rindy again in T-72hrs felt like the final punishment for all of her life’s sins.  
  
As Thursday seemed to start uneventfully for the rest of the world, Therese felt her world getting smaller and more crowded as she approached the small cabin where she worked. She didn’t know what she would say to Rindy, how she would explain not returning a single one of her texts or calls, and she didn’t know what the mood at home was after she left. She let herself into the small cabin and started her morning routine, sipping on the thermos full of black tea she had brought from home. She knew she wasn’t fully awake and needed caffeine, but she also knew a single sip of coffee wold turn her nervous jitters into seismic movements.  
  
When Rindy walked through the door at half past six Therese noticed she wasn’t wearing her usual amount of heavy clothing. “Hey” said Therese, attempting to break the ice. Rindy gave her a quick look before moving forward and walking past her, busying herself near the small cash register that sat by the drive through window. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” started Therese, attempting to explain herself without actually having to say anything. “I’ve been working extra shifts to try to pay off this medical bill and…and I haven’t really been sleeping well.”  
  
Rindy nodded and kept her vision low as she picked up a handful of cash to count it. Setting it back down into the cash register before softly saying “Tomorrow will be my last day.”  
  
.  
  
The morning had dragged on forever, spent in silence unless one of them was peeking out the window to talk to a customer. Therese spent the day fighting the urge to reach out to Rindy, to confide in her all that had happened since they met, but she knew there was no way that would be possible without seeing her shatter into a million little pieces. And now, half past six and on her way back home, she wondered what her next step would be. She knew not seeing Rindy anymore would certainly ease things in the long run, but how could she let her go? Let _them_ go.    
  
.  
  
At half past eight Therese heard a soft knock on the door. She raised her head off of her bed slightly to see if she could make out any shape or shadow through the blinds that covered the small window of the front door. “Yeah?” she shouted, hoping someone would respond and let her know whether she was in the mood to answer or not. No answer, instead, another soft knock. Therese groaned loudly as she pushed herself off of her bed and took a step towards the front door, opening it with a wide swing to reveal Carol standing in front of her.  
  
“I want to explain.” she said, walking into Therese’s apartment without being invited. Her presence filled the small space and Therese found herself short of breath as she saw the object of her affection and the bane of her existence stand before her, sucking all the oxygen out of the small room. She settled herself on the arm rest of Therese’s small sofa as Therese closed the door behind her and made her way to the corner of the bed, as far away from her as she could get in such an enclosed space.  
  
“I need to explain this to you,” she started, “and if you don’t want to hear from me after that, well, I’ll understand.” Therese simply nodded, a familiar warmth invading her body, her mind moving back and forth rapidly between longing and anger. “Well?” Therese said defiantly after a pause she felt had lasted forever.  
  
“Harge and I…” Carol sighed, “Harge is having an affair, Therese.” Therese felt the words like a jackhammer to her stomach. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she watched Carol nod reassuring her that what she had just heard was in fact correct.  
  
“Well, aren’t you?” she shot back without thinking, but also without regret.  
  
“I suppose I am…” Carol said, looking down at her hands and crossing her legs uncomfortably. “I’d like you to listen to me,” she continued in a small and sheepish voice, one Therese had not heard before “really listen to me, and don’t ask me any questions until I’m done. Do you think you can do that for me?” she said, almost pleading. Therese nodded.  
  
“When I found out I was pregnant…” she started, taking a deep breath, “when I found out about Rindy, Harge and I had already decided to break up, but agreed to remain friends. After our little rendezvous in his bedroom I confessed to him my, uh,” she cleared her throat, “physical interests lay elsewhere, to put it simply. He was shocked, and he was embarrassed, but being who he is, after a little while, he understood. By then I had started dating my first girlfriend, Abby, but when I found out about Rindy…well, I called the whole thing off.” Therese watched her from the corner of the bed, her eyes moving fast between Carol’s eyes and hands and lips, unsure of where to rest her gaze and she felt herself becoming more and more uncomfortable with her own hands and limbs.  
  
“When Susan kicked me out, when I found I had nowhere else to go, I knocked on Harge’s door and explained to him what happened. He was sixteen years old, Therese, but he had, no, _has_ ” she corrected herself, “the heart of a lion. He took me by the hand and stood in front of me as he told his parents our news. They were shocked and disappointed, but they took me in and took care of me, _of us_ , until we were able to take care of ourselves. Harge’s mother, Jeanette, took me in her arms that night, and…” Therese could see the tears quickly forming in the corner of Carol’s eyes, “I feel like she hasn’t let me go since. Her and Cy helped us get through school, helped Harge get through college and trained him in the family business. They did everything for us, Therese, everything. When Harge and I finally got married they acted as if it’s what they had wanted all along, to see us happy, to see us be a family. It broke my heart to lie to them, it broke both of our hearts.”  
  
“What did you lie ab…” Therese started to say as Carol held up a finger, signaling her to stop.  
  
“When Cy died, and when Jeanette got sick, God I feel horrible for saying this, but it’s as if we were finally free. We could stop lying to everyone, well, _almost_ everyone, and just live our lives as we intended, as we agreed to do when we decided to get married. Then,” she said, straightening up and tucking her hair behind her ears, “about two years ago on a routine business trip Harge met a woman.” Therese’s eyes widened again, trying to wrap her mind around everything Carol was saying. “They started talking and, well, Harge says they fell in love. That’s who left those marks on his neck, Therese, it wasn’t me.” she said, shaking her head while looking fiercely into Therese’s eyes. “You have to believe me, Therese” she continued, as her breathing became erratic, “Harge and I haven’t been together since the day Rindy was conceived” she said, wrapping her arms around her stomach and rocking herself gently, the beginning of a panic attack becoming more evident. Therese practically jumped off of the bed as she quickly moved towards Carol, helping her down onto the small sofa and sitting down beside her while rubbing her back softly. “Hey, hey, you’re okay, just breathe” she instructed, as she tried to help Carol calm down. Carol reached down to take Therese’s hand as she closed her eyes and attempted to regain control of her breathing. After a little while she finally looked up at Therese, giving her a silent nod signaling it was now okay to ask questions.

  
Not missing a beat Therese quickly asked “Why did you marry him?”  
  
“I told him no when he proposed to me that night. I told him I didn’t want to be his wife and that he didn’t owe me anything. I didn’t want to trap him, Therese, we were children, he didn’t know what he was asking. Except, he _did_ know” she said, a soft smile forming on her lips. “He asked me again the next day, this time in his dad’s office when we had been left alone in the house. He opened up the safe and pulled out a few large envelops containing documents and figures I did not understand, but he did. He told me he didn’t get his trust fund until he was twenty one, his parents wanted him to be nearly done with school before he had access to it. He explained that when he graduated he would start working for his father, which he eventually did, and that Cy would eventually let him buy the company from under him. Do you understand, Therese?” Therese shook her head, she did not understand. “Neither did I,” Carol continued. “He said that if we got married, after ten years I would be entitled to half of everything that was his. We would be twenty five, free to divorce and go our separate ways, and have a small enough child that the effects of an amicable separation could be smoothed over a bit more easily.”  
  
“Well, then, why didn’t you?” asked Therese, unsure of how many questions she was actually allowed to ask.  
  
“Well, we couldn’t get married until I turned eighteen, and by the time I turned twenty eight Rindy was becoming a teenager and then,” the tears started to form again, “Jeanette’s condition worsened…and we just couldn’t put Rindy through the stress of watching her beloved grandmother get sick and her parent’s divorce at the same time, and then when _she_ got sick again… It was easier to stay. Always taking the easy _fucking_ road.” she said, shaking her head angrily. _You call that the easy road_ , Therese thought to herself.  
  
“Harge and I agreed we would file for divorce when Rindy went away to school. We thought the new surroundings and making new friends might distract her from the events back home, and since things between the three of us wouldn’t really change, well, we just thought it’d be the best thing for everyone.” Carol turned to Therese, her face red and swollen from her tears, her lips still quivering slightly. She reached her palm to cup Therese’s cheek, “When I told you I was leaving him, I meant it. I just… I just can’t leave him yet. Is there any way you could understand?” Therese saw in Carol a fear she had not seen before, not in her, not in anyone. They sat there in silence, staring into each other’s eyes, before Therese leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her swollen lips, salty with tears. They stayed there for a while, pressed against each other, neither of them daring to deepen the kiss or pull away. A strange melancholy invaded Therese’s thoughts as she realized this might be the last kiss she ever shared with the woman before her and, pulling away, she wiped a tear from her own eye before resting her forehead against Carol's and whispering, “I think you should go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me.... *hides*


	22. Driving My Car

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Chapter 22. Driving My Car

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Therese had spent the previous night furiously scrubbing the floors of her small kitchen. They were old linoleum tiles with scratch marks that dated back to a time well before her. They had never bothered in the past, but her restless mind urged for a release of the adrenaline she had pent up inside. It was hours after she had asked Carol to leave. Hours after she had seen her broken face disappear from view down an empty stairwell. When she was done with the floors, she proceeded to the bathroom. When she was done with the bathroom, she started on the walls. And on and on she went until the sound of her phone alarm broke her out of her stress induced cleaning frenzy. It was time to go to work.   
  
It wasn’t until she arrived that the aching in her body started to really settle in. Her back was burning from being hunched over all night, her left arm felt like it hung loosely at her side, and her entire right side felt like it had been assaulted by a million paper cuts. Her head was pounding, her eyes were deep, and her mind was still full of everything she had heard the night before. _The easy way out_ , she said to herself repeatedly. _The easy way out_.   
  
She was talking to a customer at the drive through window when Rindy finally arrived, and Therese noticed that instead of leaning in and giving her mom a kiss through the driver’s side window, she simply walked around the back of the car and headed towards the small cabin. The car quickly pulled out of the parking lot and drove away. They had a long line of customers waiting, and Rindy quickly settled into her routine without so much as acknowledging Therese. Sometime after nine, when things had finally slowed down, Therese looked at Rindy, smiling weakly at an attempt to thaw some of the ice. She received no response. Instead, Rindy sat down and pulled a small book out of her backpack. The title read _Europe Through the Back Door by Rick Stevens._   
  
“You going somewhere?” Therese tried again. No response.   
  
“Listen, Rindy… I want to explain” said Therese, lowering herself down with a loud groan in front of Rindy’s chair. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your messages. I’m sorry I stopped coming over. I just…”  
  
“I just wanted to do something nice for you…” said Rindy softly, not looking up from her book, but no longer reading it either.   
  
“What?” said Therese, her back aching from being in that familiar position again.   
  
“I didn’t think you’d take it so badly. I thought you’d be happy” Rindy said, finally looking up at Therese.   
  
“What are you talking about?” Therese said again, this time lowering herself further so she was sitting on the sticky dirty floor, her hands now on Rindy’s knees.   
  
“The donation… mom said you were upset."   
  
“Your mom said…whaat?”  
  
“I was only trying to do something nice for you. I never meant to make you feel bad. It’s just…I should have thought about what that money must have meant for you, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know about your family, you never said anything to me. And when mom said that maybe you’d felt bad…” her eyes were quickly filling with tears, “well I just didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry to make you feel that way.”   
  
“What way?” said Therese, noticeably frustrated and confused. 

  
“Well _I don’t know what way_ , but I’m sorry! I’ve never been good with money things. Mom and dad always say you have to be generous,” tears were now running down her cheeks and dripping off her porcelain chin “I just thought you’d be happy, but instead it pushed you away.” Therese looked up at the confusing scene in front of her and was briefly taken back to the night before, the other Aird woman in her life sitting in a similar position, spewing out words that made as little sense to her then as these did now. She reached her arms around Rindy’s sides and slowly shushed her down from her crying.   
  
“Rindy…” she said after a long pause. “What are you talking about? What donation?”  
  
“The donation I made to the Humane Society. With my birthday money. In your name” she said, wiping her cheeks and nose with her forearm, in between sobs.   
  
“You made a donation to the Humane Society…in my name?” Therese said, her voice just above a whisper. Rindy simply nodded. “And you thought I was upset?”  
  
“I didn’t know it was a lot of money” she shrugged, “I just wanted to do something nice for you since you volunteer there, and because mom said you’re the reason we adopted Sugar.”   
  
“How much was it?” Therese asked reluctantly.  
  
“Ten thousand dollars” Rindy said, still sobbing lightly.   
  
“You….you donated _ten thousand dollars_ to the Humane Society and you thought I got _mad_ at you for that? You thought I stopped coming around because of that?” Rindy nodded, still looking away. Therese summoned all her strength and pulled herself up off the floor and wrapped her arms tightly around Rindy’s shoulders. “You’re an angel, Rindy Aird, and I don’t deserve your friendship.”   
  
Therese spent the rest of the morning thanking Rindy for her generous gift and telling her all the wonderful things the shelter would be able to do with her money. She was a single star in a dark empty sky and Therese was grateful for her light. She thought about how full her heart had felt the last few weeks, the Aird women it’s only occupants in a very long time. They both filled needs she had long denied she had. Rindy brought a certain lightness to her life, a smile to her face, and a warmth to her heart. And Carol, that was a feeling she not only did not recognize, but she felt like she wanted to spend the rest of her life defining. Her life was complicated and impossible, but she was now determined to draw a map through it for them, even if she had to use her left hand to do it.   
  
When noon rolled around, the sight of the familiar SUV appeared in their small parking lot and as Rindy gathered her belongings to leave, Therese reached out her for her hand and took it. “Invite me to dinner?” she asked. Rindy smiled and nodded.   
  
They left the cabin, waving Alani goodbye as they did, and as Therese settled into the back seat of the car she saw a strange pair of eyes looking back at her through the rear view mirror. “Hello, Therese.”  
  
“Hello Mr…Harge.” she replied before their gaze was interrupted by a chipper “Dad! I have sooooo much to tell you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, I hope you're not all still mad at me from the last chapter :)


	23. Think For Yourself

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Chapter 23. Think For Yourself

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As the three of them walked into the house an excited Sugar ran up to greet them. Rindy fell to the floor to pet her and play with her, having been away all morning, and Therese wondered if she should stay there, move towards the living room where Harge was headed, or _run through the house, out the back door, past the stables, into the empty plot of land at the back of their property, over the fence, and into the river like she wanted_. She settled on the living room, for now.   
  
“Where’s your mom?” she asked Rindy nervously, who was too busy with Sugar to pick up on her tone. “She went to see my mom” Harge replied from the kitchen. “Oh,” breathed Therese, sitting up right in the large arm chair, heels together, hands folded neatly on her lap. She sat there for a minute, unsure of what to do with herself, before she heard Harge offer her a beer from the kitchen. “Oh, I’m not old enough to drink” she said innocently, finally looking up at Harge quickly and out of the corner of her eye.   
  
“Oh, come on, Therese. I won’t tell. We’re practically family now” he replied, a smile on his face. Therese looked up again bashfully, feeling the heat in her face turn up to one hundred and the a/c on her hands and feet down to negative ten. She slowly peeled herself off the arm chair and took a step towards the kitchen. “Dad lets me have a sip of his beer sometime, if mom isn’t around” Rindy added, still in the foyer. “That’s okay, drinking makes me feel funny” she said shaking her head.   
  
“I’m going to take a shower, guys! Get the smell of my last day of work _off of me!_ ” Rindy shouted, emphasizing the end of her statement as she ran up the stairs, two-steps at a time.   
  
Harge and Therese stood in the kitchen alone. He looked directly at her, she looked at anything _but_. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. Every scenario she had practiced in her head involved only her and Carol. Carol would open the door, Therese would take her in her arms and push them over a precipice somehow in a ravenous kiss. Carol would pick up Rindy from work, Therese would climb into the front seat of the car with her and devour her whole. She never imagined herself here. Alone. With Harge. Finally, _finally_ , she found something to hold on to.   
  
“Why did Rindy quit the coffee shop?” she asked, looking at the espresso machine for moral support.   
  
“Well, we’re going on a trip before school starts. Surely she told you about it.” Therese shook her head, but remembered the book she had seen Rindy start to read earlier in the day. “Europe?” she asked, Harge nodded. “That’s nice of you, I’m sure it’ll be a very nice trip” she said, now staring at the untouched espresso machine. “She’s a very nice girl, Therese. She deserves it.” Therese was still not looking at him, but she could still feel the mood of the conversation changing.   
  
“So, she told you everything.” Therese nodded. “And you told her to leave.” Therese nodded again. “So then what are you doing here now?” he asked. Therese said nothing, she simply shrugged. Harge shifted from his standing position and settled into a stool, pushing another one out with his foot and motioning for Therese to take it. As she did, she felt Harge bring the thumb of his closed fist under her chin and direct her face towards him. “You’re young. Tell me you know what you’re doing.” he said, a seriousness in his address Therese had not heard before. “I don’t” she said shaking her head softly, as he let out a heavy sigh “but I do know that I…the way I feel about her…I think I…”   
  
“Stop.” Harge instructed, “I don’t want to hear the words first, she should hear them first.” Therese nodded and swallowed hard fighting back her tears. “She’s been my best friend for these eighteen years, Therese. I truly believe she’s my soulmate. I love her, and I want her to be happy. Our life… _it’s complicated_ , but there’s a lot of love here. If this is not something you can handle, if this is not something you can do, you should walk away now, before she even sees you. Carol is strong, she’s resilient and she will pull through, but if we let you in and _Rindy gets hurt_ … that’s not something you two could ever get past. Do you understand?”  
  
Therese understood exactly. She didn’t want to leave, but she didn’t want to lie. Everything in this house was hidden under layers and layers of secrets. Everyone was protecting each other from an inevitable destruction and at the top of the heap was Rindy. Sweet, butterfly-of-a-girl, breakable Rindy. “I don’t know how not to hurt her…” confessed Therese, now looking attentively at Harge, hoping for guidance. “I can’t help you with that” he said before getting up and walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so impatient. It makes posting these so much more fun!


	24. Not A Second Time

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Not A Second Time

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Therese and Rindy spent the entire afternoon talking about Rindy’s plans for Europe. Of course, she had been before, but never for this long with just her dad. She mused about what she would wear and what she would bring back to all the important people in her life. A cameo brooch for her grandmother, the weirdest antique she could fit into her suitcase for her mother, and a surprise for Therese. It was starting to get late and Therese knew she should head over to the guest room before Harge walked in and told her to, embarrassing them both. “Okay,” said Rindy as Therese started to leave, “I’ll text you a picture of the outfits I already have picked out, and also of the maybes so you can help me choose.”   
  
“Alright” she replied, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. She walked past the large office and mindlessly passed by the guest room and it wasn’t until she reached the door to Carol’s ugly room that she realized she had strayed. Her mind was busy replaying the events of the last few days. Her conversation with Carol, then her conversation with Harge. How could all get what they wanted without hurting Rindy? It seemed impossible. She had to see Carol again, she had to talk to her, only then would she know what to do. She decided to make her way upstairs to ask Harge when she would be back from New Jersey. As she approached the room she was surprised the door was partially opened then suddenly, a familiar sound invaded her ears. He was grunting, loudly. And again. He was mouthing obscenities and saying Carol’s name in between heavy jagged breaths. She was planted on the floor, unable to move, unable to breath, when she felt a hand wrap itself around her bicep and yank her back. She let out a muffled groan as Carol pressed her free hand over her mouth and pulled her away from the door and into the bathroom to their left.   
  
“What are you doing!” Carol said, still pressing her hand to Therese’s mouth, who gave her a muffled reply, her eyes wide with alarm. “What are you doing here!” Therese replied after Carol removed her hand, attempting to whisper, but failing. “I fucking live here!” Carol said, straining her voice to keep quiet. “What are you doing here?” she shot back again. “I came to talk to you!” Therese started, before getting distracted by her own thoughts. “Wait, I thought you were in New Jersey…Wait, wait” she said shaking her head, “If you’re in here then who’s in there with him?”  
  
“Good Lord, Therese, he’s probably talking to his girlfriend! I can’t believe you were spying on him.”  
  
“I wasn’t spying on him, I was coming over to ask him when you would be back from New Jersey. Why aren’t you in New Jersey? Aren’t you supposed to be in New Jersey!” said Therese, bewildered and not at all whispering.   
  
“ _Stop_ saying New Jersey!” Carol shot back annoyed, “What made you think I was there?”  
  
“Rindy and Harge said you went to see your mother in law. Doesn’t she live in New…doesn’t she live on the east coast?”  
  
“She did, but she was transferred to a local facility earlier this week. That’s where I was.”  
  
“Oh…well that will be nice, right? To not have to travel so much” said Therese, raising her eyebrows, attempting to distract herself from the matter at hand.   
  
“Therese,” Carol started softly, pulling herself away from Therese and pressing herself against the sink for support, “what are you doing here?”   
  
“I had to talk to you. I….I’m sorry I asked you to leave. I shouldn’t have done that. I just got overwhelmed. You said… you said so many things.” Therese said, rolling her eyes softly and taking a small step towards Carol. “I couldn’t wrap my brain around all of it. Rindy, and you, and Harge, and his girlfriend and…wait a second” she said, looking up at Carol who was squirming as if she knew exactly the question Therese was about to ask. “Is his girlfriend’s name…” Carol, still looking away, started to nod before Therese even finished her question. “Awwwww mannnnn” said Therese, clenching her fists and twitching lightly “that’s grossssss.”   
  
“Is that why you came here, Therese? To tell me my life is gross?” Carol interrupted, looking at her, an air of defeat in her soft features. Therese shook her head to clear her mind and took another step forward, closing he gap between them. She reached for her hands and found them fiercely holding on to the sides of the sink, unwilling to let go. Therese let her hands caress Carol’s, slowly peeling her fingers off the counter top and intertwining them with her own.   
  
“No, that’s not why I came. I’m sorry,” she said, looking up at the steely blue eyes, “I came in to tell you I’m in. I’m all in, Carol.” Carol’s expression imminently softened and Therese could tell she was trying to blink back a few tears. “I shouldn’t have asked you to leave. I just didn’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to do this thing…with us, but I know at least I want to try.” Therese brought her left hand to meet Carol’s cheek, their fingers still locked together, and as she slowly caressed the soft skin of her face Therese felt Carol plant a soft kiss on the back of her hand. “I’m glad you came back” Carol said before leaning in to find Therese’s lips.   
  
.  
  
“When do you leave for Europe, again?” asked Therese as she helped Carol pack Harge and Rindy’s lunches. “A week from Monday.” she replied, picking up a celery stick. They were spending the day with Harge’s mother, and even though the drive was only two hours long to where she was staying, Carol insisted they pack a lunch. She didn’t want them picking up any junk food and she knew they’d be at each other’s throats if they didn’t eat anything on the way back. “I’ll have dinner ready by the time you two get home” she said as she walked with them to the foyer.   
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us, Therese?” said Rindy as she picked up her jacket from the coat rack by the door. “I’m sure, Rindy, this is a family thing. Go spend time with your grandma, I already told you I’m staying the weekend. I’ll be here when you get back.”  
  
“But what are you and mom gonna do all day?” she said as she threw her messenger bag around her neck and adjusted it over her shoulder. “Come on kiddo, I’m sure your mom and Therese will figure out some way to pass the time.” Harge replied, giving Carol a wink on his way out.   
  
“You guys are so weird” said Therese as they shut the front door.   
  
.  
  
Therese was sitting on the counter top when Carol came back into the kitchen. Her thin legs seemed weighed down by the heavy boots at her feet, which were dangling off the edge of the island. She watched Carol walk towards her, part her legs slightly, and settle into the space right between them. For the first time since they met Carol was looking up at her and the moment felt like an exciting first. Therese couldn’t figure out why the simple act of standing next to this woman, packing a lunch, arms brushing lightly against one another, was so thrilling to her, but she figured after everything she had learned in the last few days that the less questions she had the longer she could enjoy things.  
Carol reached her hand around Therese’s bottom and pulled her in closer, reaching up for a kiss as she did, landing on her jaw. “Don’t,” said Therese, a request Carol chose to ignore, and instead opted to part her lips and search for one of Therese’s ear lobes. “Don’t,” Therese said again, this time feeling herself hang her arms around Carol’s neck and lean in closer. She felt Carol move her arms around her back and gently tuck her fingers into the back side of her shorts. “Don’t” said Therese again, this time pulling back with the jolt of electricity she got from Carol’s fingers directly on her skin. Carol was looking at her with an air of confusion, but unwilling to remove her hands from their new resting place. “We need to figure this out” said Therese. “We need to figure out what we are going to do about Rindy….and until we do, we need to stay away from each other.”   
  
Carol hung her head and took a step back, leaving Therese free to tuck her legs underneath her on the counter top. “I don’t know what we are going to do about Rindy…” Carol started to say, “I honestly don’t know what we are going to do about that girl.”   
  
“Alright,” said Therese, leaning back against the counter tops, “then let’s figure out what we’re going to do about Harge first.”  
  
“What do you mean ‘what we’re going to do about Harge?’ There’s nothing to do about Harge.” Therese could sense the defensiveness in Carol’s tone, and while she knew it was unreasonable to feel jealous, she did. “You said he has a girlfriend… doesn’t this girlfriend mind you two sleeping together?” Therese shot back, unable to stop herself from picking a fight where there were no fights to be found.   
  
“It’s complicated, and that’s his business. I may be willing to share my business with you, but he is not required to, Therese. He owes you no explanations.”  
  
“No, you don’t get to say ‘it’s complicated’ and leave it at that. I’m in this now, I need to know what’s going on. So spill.” Carol reached to scratch the back of her neck and let out a heavy sigh before moving back towards Therese. “First, you need to get your feet off of my countertop,” she said. She led Therese softly off the island and took her hand while directing her towards the living room. She sat on the large sofa and Therese settled herself into the spot between her legs, her back pressed to Carol’s chest. They sat like that for a moment, letting their breathing sync up before Carol spoke again. “Alright, what do you want to know?”  
  
“Well….” started Therese, the question that had been bothering her since her first night in the house now bubbling up inside her like bile. “The night of your birthday, I heard you. I heard you and Harge in your room.”  
  
“What do you mean?” said Carol, stroking the side of Therese’s face with the back of her index finger.   
  
“I heard you two in bed together.” she said quickly and held her breath, waiting for a response. Carol’s breathing didn’t change and her hand didn’t stop, she simply asked again “what do you mean?” She’d gotten this far, Therese figured, surely no matter what she asked the answer couldn’t be any crazier than all the answers she’d gotten up until this point. “He was begging..he said it was your birthday and he’d be gone a while, then I heard you guys. Fucking.”  
  
Therese was surprised at the sound of Carol’s laugh and her soft finger were replaced by a light pat on the head, similar to a pat one would give to one’s knee at the sound of a hilarious joke. “What’s so funny!” asked Therese, unamused.   
  
“You’re a little freak, you know” started Carol, laughing still, “spying on people in bed together.”  
  
“Hey! You don’t get to judge me, you don’t get to…” Carol cut her off by softly pressing her palm on Therese’s mouth like she had done the night before.   
  
“He wanted to take me out dancing, Therese. It was my birthday, and his call interrupted our dinner. He wanted to take me out since he’d be gone to see Caroline for the next two weeks.” Her hand was still pressed to Therese’s mouth, this time her thumb was moving softly along to top of Therese’s lip. “I told him I was tired and full from your heavy ass dinner and I went into the bathroom to take a bath. Whatever you heard, well, it wasn’t me” Carol said again, finishing her statement by chuckling lightly.  
  
Therese’s mind was racing, trying to connect all of the pieces of her little puzzle in her head. Her eyes darted back and forth as Carol gently stroked her face again. “No wonder I couldn’t hear you…” she said. Carol’s hand stoped moving then, “I just figured he had a small dick.”   
  
“You really do have a wild imagination!” said Carol as she erupted in laughter once again, this time drawing Therese in with her. When they had both calmed down from their sudden laughing frenzy Therese felt Carol lean in close to her and bring her lips to her neck, letting her tongue move slowly between them, but never fully pressing down for a kiss. “On the contrary, my dear, Caroline is a very lucky woman. That thing is huge.” Carol said before giving Therese’s neck a small bite sending them both into another fit of laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two!


	25. Till There Was You

* * *

 

Chapter 25. Till There Was You

* * *

 

 

Day 1.  
  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without makeup,” said Therese as she helped Carol make breakfast. They were standing side by side in the large kitchen as if brought together by a nonexistent magnet. Careful not to touch, they placed the items the other would need just far enough out of reach to make their little game more challenging, more exciting. The house was large, and quiet, and completely theirs. The light coming in through the many windows and glass doors gave the morning a hazy feel, one that made them wish morning would somehow last forever. When one would lean forward and her hair would fall over her face, the other would brush their own hair back, a suggestion. When one would stick her tongue out to catch the last bit of food left on her lip, the other would follow. A game of mirroring responses without ever having to touch. They had spent the first night together in their respective rooms, one wondering why she’d set rules for them, the other wondering how she was expected to sleep without the log of a man beside her and with the knowledge of the girl downstairs. _No, the woman_ , she had to correct herself.   
  
Day 3.  
  
They laid side by side on the grassy part of the back yard, looking up at the maple tree whose shade was so graciously covering them. After many attempts to get a chair, or at least a towel, the blonde had finally relented to the smaller woman’s request and allowed herself, and her summer linens, to get lost in the feeling of the sharp and wet blades of grass below them. It was in these moments, lost together in endless conversation, that they felt themselves the most alone. The kisses they had promised not to give each other were lost in different corners of the house. The longing they were both denying reaching out for them with every look. But in these moments, when they talked about nothing and everything, is when the silence really sunk in. Not deafening, but liberating.   
  
  
Day 4.  
  
They sat across the dinner table from one another, arms stretched out so that their hands were touching, but staying far enough out of reach to keep the conversation going and the tension low. “You have to tell me what’s going on with that room upstairs.”   
  
“What room?” said Carol, admiring the way Therese pursed her lips after she asked a question.  
  
“The one with all the ugly furniture, the one you go to when you get mad” Therese replied while drawing little circles with her index finger on Carol’s palm, lips still pursed.   
  
“How do you know I go there when you get mad?”   
  
“You went in there the day of Rindy’s party, and you don’t let anyone else in there. It’s safe to assume, isn’t it?” both of her hands were now gently patting Carol’s, as if they were engaged in the slowest and most gentle game of paddy cake.   
  
“It’s my antiques collection, if you must know.” Carol said with a slight raise of her brow. She had moved her hands from underneath Therese’s and was now slowly massaging her forearm, right above her cast.  “I must know” Therese said softly as she watched Carol’s hands work on her in a new way.   
  
“Jeanette helped me start it. She had an antiques shop before she got sick, and she wanted me to help her manage it. She mailed me some of the pieces upstairs, then when she was no longer able to run the business, Harge sold it. A lot of the pieces left in the store ended up in that room. I kept them because, well, maybe I’ll start my own business when Harge and I finally divorce. And I don’t go there when I get mad, I go there when I need to be alone.”   
  
“…with your ugly furniture” finished Therese.  
  
“Correct.”  
  
Sitting across the way from her, while her hands gently massaged her forearm, Therese let her eyes navigate yet again the hills and valleys of Carol’s face. Everything about her was soft, but with an edge. Her hair was pulled back into a small pony tail, loose curls falling at the base of her neck and around her temples. Therese had taken to watching her like this for many weeks now, but whereas before she had to limit herself to catching glimpses of her throughout the large house, over people’s shoulders and out of the corner of her eye, the last few days she had indulged in looking at her straight on, unafraid. She had deduced that Carol had two nervous habits; when she wasn’t running her hands through her hair, curling it at the ends, she was biting at her upper lip. Therese had caught her brushing her eyelashes softly one day, admiring the gesture and taking mental notes to file away with the others, but Carol had only been brushing a piece of lint away. The gesture was never repeated. That was noted too. She never kicked her shoes off, and she was the only one in the house to place them in their designated spot by the door. She took her coffee black, and the only sweet she’d ever seen her eat was chocolate with the tea they shared on her first morning here. She didn’t seem to wear the color beige, or tan, or any variation of it. There was also a small scar on her hair line, but no story was behind it.  It’s funny, Therese thought as she listed all the things she’d learned about Carol in her mind, _how can you can look at the same person over and over and still discover new things to…to what?_  
  
  
“Your ears are cute” Therese said, breaking her own concentration at the sight of the silly and delicate feature.   
  
“Oh, hush.”  
  
  
Day 7.   
  
In the story of Therese’s life, love was never a topic that inspired much conversation. The movies she watched as a kid, in her quiet corner of a noisy house, taught her it meant impossible miscommunications, grand gestures, and happy endings. Everything in her life had felt soft to that point. All the screaming, the crying, the nights alone, they felt like the outside noise you hear when your head is sunken in deep at the bottom of a swimming pool. The only real feeling she’d had since her father died was when her mother chose someone else over her. And even then, as she told herself many times, it was a broken wrist and not a broken heart. You cannot break something that never truly belonged to you.   
  
Day 9.  
  
It isn’t a love one can easily describe, the love of a child. From the moment that she first felt her move, she knew there would be no greater task in her life than insuring that this girl, the one fluttering like a butterfly in her stomach, was safe and loved. She wrote her stories and wrote her songs, all too private to repeat to anyone else after her. Journals full of handwritten notes were kept throughout the house, all with love letters to the young girl. They all promised her a bright future, full of love, full of adventure, and full of honesty. Pictures of the young mother filled the pages without words. She was softer then, all around not just the belly. There were none of the lines that adorned her eyes, none of the edges in her impossibly high cheek bones. Her lips were pink like peonies and her eyes a soft blue that left the most beautiful of summer skies ashamed in it’s attempts to match them. “This is your mother” the back of the pictures all read, “the one who adores you.”   
  
Day 10.  
  
  
This girl. The girl with her always slightly disheveled hair and overgrown bangs. The girl who was a stranger only a few weeks ago. This girl seemed to walk trough her life broken and bleeding, stuffing flower petals into all her cuts and openings, rubbing sunflower oil on all her bruises and burns. Her face was wholesomely deceiving, her cries alluring in their innocence. Her song, however, it was one of a siren. One too aware of the dangers of the world, and so as not to be taken first, she ravaged and lay waste. It was subtle, the girl’s approach, but she could feel it in her bones, in her tendons, in her heart. With her green eyes wide and willing, she took everything the universe had given her and turned it into a life. She was young, but not lacking in experience. She was beautiful, but also full of insight. _And though she be but little_ , she thought, _she is fierce_.  
  
  
Day 13.   
  
“Your hair is growing” she said as she reached her finger to brush a curl off of the blonde woman’s cheek, before placing her hand back down over her warm exposed belly. “It does that,” she replied. They had spent the last few hours laying in the soft morning sun. One woman facing it directly, like a sunflower worshiping it’s life giving light. The other, on her side, with one arm draped over the sunflower, while the other arm was tucked neatly underneath her neck, resting her head and reaching out for the hand the sunflower had laid above it. People always tell you that _love_ is supposed to look some type of way, feel some type of way, but it’s in the moments where no one speaks, where you truly feel it the most.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am reading all your comments and loving them, sorry I haven't had time to reply. Very busy, very sorry, so here's some fluff :)


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